Written by: Corey Mandell, based on the novel by L. Ron Hubbard
Directed by: Roger Christian
Starring: John Travolta, Barry Pepper, Forest Whitaker, Kim Coates, Richard Tyson
My Advice: Wait for MST3K. On the other hand, Don’t Miss It.
Welcome to the year 3000. It seems that a thousand years ago, a race of aliens known as Psychlos showed up and literally bombed the human race back to the Stone Age. Now, Johnnie (Pepper), lives in the caves with his tribe and dreams of a better life for his people. Despite the protests of his girlfriend, Daryl Hannah (Coates), he decides to go out into the world and see what there is to see–but there’s a problem. The problem is nine feet tall–Terl (Travolta), the Psychlo chief of security. He’s got a job for the industrious Johnnie, and the young “man-animal” could turn it to his advantage and take back the planet–or wind up getting everybody killed.
Not convinced? Okay, it’s one thousand years in the future, right? How is it that there are jets lying around, dust-free and fully functional? Same with batteries, flight simulators–even paper! I don’t know exactly what the shelf-life of ordinary paper is, but I do know that books won’t last an entire millennium. Also–another sure sign you’re in a C movie is when everything is labeled in friendly, stenciled letters–such as FUEL or EXPLOSIVES. And ask yourselves how a race that can wipe out an entire planet’s military in nine minutes can’t even put a surveillance satellite in geosynchronous orbit. If you dare.
This movie is Clan of the Cave Bear meets Independence Day and should be treated as such. Grab you, grab your friends, get sloshed, go to a matinee and laugh your keister off like I did. In fact, like most of the audience in the screening I saw did. If that’s not your idea of a good time, please…for the love of God–stay home.