Submitted for your approval, or at least your mild abuse–these three items:

Heard on 85th and Broadway: Guy: “I really hate the concept of Starbucks, but they really have the best product.” Man, I love Overheard in New York. Bonus, here’s another sweet one.

What’s scary is that the whole impaling rapists thing I could really go for. Found via Dave Barry.

To Jim Carrey, we have only one thing to say: slow traffic move right. Thanks. Found via Drudge.