Coca-Cola Blak – Drink Review

Coca-Cola Blak

Review: Once this thing finally hit stores, I swear I’ve had people asking me…and this is how the conversation starts, verbatim: “So?” As though Blak would be at the forefront of my mind. These people think they know me.

Well, it probably would be at the forefront of my mind, but I went and bought a four-pack and barely finished the single one that I opened. This stuff is pretty goddamn wretched. They call it a “caffeinated fusion beverage,” but all they managed to fuse together is disgust and revulsion.

I imagine its creation goes something like this: take Coke. Shove something that’s alive and comprised entirely of sweet plastic into the bottle. Let it die in there. Serve chilled.

The reason why this doesn’t work is simple: my arch-nemesis, aspartame. I can’t handle anything with aspartame in it, because while it might cut down on the sugar, in return for this service, it makes everything taste like twelve miles of ass. I wish they would have come out with an unleaded version and then put aspartame in the Blak Zero version, or whatever. Because the concept behind the drink is mental, but sound nonetheless. The execution just sucks. Seriously, who in the hell is going to drink a concoction that’s half Coke, half coffee and worry about freaking sugar content? Does anyone who would elect to drink this type of product strike you as the type of person who’s hyper-health-conscious?

If you’re one of the five people who do like it, better stock up now. It’s not long for this world. And good riddance.


Where to Find Stuff
By | 2017-09-24T23:46:34+00:00 April 30th, 2006|Reviews|17 Comments

17 Comments

  1. RC of strangeculture April 30, 2006 at 6:39 pm

    I too just tried it last night…and man…i think coke dropped the ball on this one…which is probably why they are charging so much b/c they get people like you and i too by them and take the money and run.

    –RC of strangeculture.blogspot.com

  2. David Gallaher May 2, 2006 at 12:35 pm

    >> If you’re one of the five people who do like it, better stock up now.>>

    I love the stuff. I drink several a week. It’s MUCH, MUCH better than Kona Kola from Pepsi about a decade ago. And according to HungryGirl diet e-zine, it’s awesome over ice with some skim milk. I believe Weight Wathcers is also behind the drink as it’s only 1 point.

    I drink it because of the taste. I like it. It taste better after it settles for a little while.

  3. Widge May 2, 2006 at 12:47 pm

    David: “After it settles for a little while”? Settles in your stomach, you mean? Or the samples I’ve tried, have they just not been properly aged? :)

  4. David Gallaher May 2, 2006 at 2:53 pm

    After you pop off the cap, the drink needs time to ‘breathe’ … poring it in a glass helps. The bubbles and fizziness take away from the flavor. Trust me, it makes a world of difference. Plus, I’ve heard it’s awesome with a little bit Kahula.

  5. Widge May 2, 2006 at 3:04 pm

    Dude, if anybody asks me from now on who our audience is, I’ll say, “Connoisseurs who give their coffee hybrid drinks time to breathe before consuming them.” You rock. :)

  6. David Gallaher May 2, 2006 at 3:49 pm

    Well, considering your site is the “the Internet equivalent of a triple espresso with whipped cream.” … I find it only fitting.

    Mmmm…whipped cream.

  7. billy ray doose' esq. May 3, 2006 at 12:00 am

    i am impressed with the taste of cc blak. only one problem. 5.00 for a 4 pack of 8 oz bottles. unless there is a drastic change in my cost, i shall enjoy my “4 pack” and put an empty bottle as a memory of the cola that priced itself into the memory yeah i remember that, pricey wasn’t it. oh well, this is america, “business as usual” billy

  8. Psilaxs May 8, 2006 at 1:48 am

    I am 100% addicted to this stuff, I have spent 30 bucks on it in less than a week, forgoing my ATV payment. I love it, but the price is damned insane. I am working on making my own Coke Blak. Which will consist of 3/4 diet coke, 1/4 coke and some instant coffee thrown in. i did this tonight, and while i am sure it WILL taste good, holy crap, what a chemical reaction, I had a mountain of stream shooting out of the bottle i mixed it in. never the less i will continue on my quest to make my own. I do believe making some extremely strong fresh brewed coffee (the kind so strong you cannot drink it) and use it as a form of concentrate to then put into the Coke/Diet Coke mix. Instant coffee has too much air in it, and when it hits the diet coke look out, it is like one of those volcano experiments in chemistry class way back when.

  9. Michael May 24, 2006 at 8:03 am

    The world hasn’t seen the best carbonated coffee
    drink in the world. It will be launched in Australia in July 06 called Rocket you heard it hear first… from the inventor Mike

  10. Widge May 24, 2006 at 8:17 am

    Mike, bring that noise. Hook us up with a sample.

  11. Julie July 22, 2006 at 5:35 pm

    I love Cocoa Cola Blak, mixed with a little half & half over ice, the perfect mix almost tastes like a Smith & Kearns . They must not be able to keep it in stock, I am having a hard time finding in stores. I ask and they only might a few in the back.

  12. Steve September 17, 2006 at 7:07 pm

    I too enjoy this stuff but tend to agree with previous posters, it tastes far better when you let it sit for a while. Has anyone tried it with Rum yet?

  13. billy ray doose' esq. March 5, 2007 at 2:57 am

    It’s 2 AM in the morning and I’m playin type in a name and search. I typed mine and holy moly there it is. www. First it was cnn and www and coke. I still drink it when I can find it. It truly is a small world. Keep up the good work. What’s this other stuff called pepsi? Sounds like seltzer water. billy ray doose’ esq.

  14. Tamara Burks February 18, 2008 at 7:57 pm

    I tried it once and nearly got sick. Then I realized it had aspartame after reading the ingrediants. There was my problem. I cannot tolerate anything with artificial sweeteners but especially aspartame. But try telling that to my relatives who keep bugging me to switch to diet.

  15. D Neuberger March 29, 2008 at 2:46 pm

    Where can I find this Blak drink? My mother absolutely loves it and it has become harder and harder to find. The grocery store and Target store I used to get it at no longer have it. Help!!! Where can I find it? D. in Denver, CO

  16. JoKeR June 3, 2008 at 8:09 am

    I dont get it why using ASPARTAME? its one of the most disgusting substitute of the whole wolrd.

    I already mixed up coffee and coke and it tasted very good….. WITH SUGAR!!!

    (~__-)

    greetings from Germany

  17. Widge June 3, 2008 at 11:54 am

    JoKeR: Thanks for stopping by…I have no idea why aspartame. Especially when, as I understand it, you guys in Europe got a version with sugar.

Leave A Comment

%d bloggers like this: