In other news, apparently last week a Cincinnati vampire, releasing his anger like most vampires do…um, via a press release…decided that White Castle’s new garlic cheese sandwich “angered the undead.” The story, what little more there is of it, is here. Apparently he was going to vent his spleen by wreaking havoc in the way only vampires can…and…erm, picket a White Castle location.
Let’s cogitate on this for a moment, since we’re freaks and have nothing better to do on a Friday night. Why would the undead be angered by the introduction of garlic to a cheese sandwich? Is it because the undead get the hankering for a regular cheese sandwich? Do they fear that the garlic used in the preparation of sandwiches might find trace bits onto their plain cheese sandwiches?
And since when do vampires eat cheese sandwiches, anyway? When he says “the undead,” does he mean his zombie brethren, who, perhaps, can’t speak up for themselves? If so, why would zombies give a shit about garlic one way or the other? Down here we don’t have White Castle, just Krystal. Are Krystal cheese sandwiches just as tasty to the living dead as White Castle cheese sandwiches?
I’m going to get no sleep tonight because I’ll be thinking about this bullshit. If anyone has pictures of the protest–if it actually happened–send them, would you? And if you’re at a White Castle or Krystal tonight…look at your fellow cheap sandwich patrons. Do any of them look…greyish?