Honey, It Sounds Like the Raccoons Are in the Garbage Ag–AHHHH!! WHAT THE CHRIST?

Coconut Crab

First up, yes, that’s a real crab. A coconut crab, in fact. And yes, I know we’re late to the party on this one. This has gone to Neatorama and Ectoplasmosis, and everyone’s commented on eeep, what a big goddamn crab.

However. There’s one thing we haven’t seen anyone address: namely, what the fucking hell is it doing going through somebody’s garbage?

Here are a few of the theories we’ve come up with around the Needcoffee.com offices…

[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”]

1. The crab threw away its retainer by mistake and is trying to look for it.

2. The crab’s not actually going through the garbage, it is a stuffed coconut crab and somebody threw it away poorly. It’s hanging out the side of the garbage can as a result.

3. The crab is a perv and is seeking discarded underpants. (Scott’s)

4. The crab is a private investigator and is seeking tax records.

5. The crab is trying out for a part in the Dark Tower movie.

6. The crab is a freegan.

Update:

7. “This’ll teach that deadbeat Grouch never to default on a Coconut Crab loan” (from Ken)

We’re all about the context here.[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

               

Related Articles

About author View all posts Author website

Widge

1 CommentLeave a comment

%d bloggers like this: