Honey, It Sounds Like the Raccoons Are in the Garbage Ag–AHHHH!! WHAT THE CHRIST?

Coconut Crab

First up, yes, that’s a real crab. A coconut crab, in fact. And yes, I know we’re late to the party on this one. This has gone to Neatorama and Ectoplasmosis, and everyone’s commented on eeep, what a big goddamn crab.

However. There’s one thing we haven’t seen anyone address: namely, what the fucking hell is it doing going through somebody’s garbage?

Here are a few of the theories we’ve come up with around the Needcoffee.com offices…

1. The crab threw away its retainer by mistake and is trying to look for it.

2. The crab’s not actually going through the garbage, it is a stuffed coconut crab and somebody threw it away poorly. It’s hanging out the side of the garbage can as a result.

3. The crab is a perv and is seeking discarded underpants. (Scott’s)

4. The crab is a private investigator and is seeking tax records.

5. The crab is trying out for a part in the Dark Tower movie.

6. The crab is a freegan.

Update:

7. “This’ll teach that deadbeat Grouch never to default on a Coconut Crab loan” (from Ken)

We’re all about the context here.

By | 2017-09-24T23:26:25+00:00 October 13th, 2007|Stimuli|1 Comment

One Comment

  1. mike February 24, 2009 at 2:02 pm

    holy ass fuking shit thats big

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