Passive Aggressive Notes has an interesting round-up of signs that are supposed to be threats. Don't they know that these days, kids will ditch their folks and wander about for such a "punishment"? Hell, that's just for espresso. With the free puppy in the mix, you could have kids using sleeping pills on their parents so they can sneak out and hit several stores at a run.
And what's wrong with just selling unattended kids to black market organ harvesters like we used to? Tell me that, huh?