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Entertaining Search Queries

I'm Feeling Lucky!

So Blogstorm has done a couple of these, trawling through the search queries that have led people to their site. And it seemed to be worthwhile, since I’ve seen some really odd ones in my time. Although it must be said: I didn’t dig far enough down into ours to get to single searches, not highly. So if you searched using any of these, know that you are not alone.

And be afraid, because I would be if I were you.


zombie site:needcoffee.com
Well, we won’t stay dead, if that’s what you’re implying.

site:www.needcoffee.com needcoffee.com
You’re looking to see if you can find our site…on our site…?

chris angel dies
Aw man, that ain’t nice. I don’t even know who Chris Angel is. I know who this guy is, though.

vanishing point uk version
To my knowledge, there is no UK-specific version of my novel, but thank you for asking.

site:needcoffee.com wtf horror
There you go, folks. A two-word review of the site.

beth chapman implants
At least it wasn’t an image search.

ii am legend
Is that what they’re going to name the sequel?

chris angel died?
No, goddammit, he hasn’t died. What is with you people? That’s the ninth search having something to do with Criss Angel dying I’ve found.

criss angel’s phone number
Finally, somebody who isn’t looking for Angel to be dead. Criss, who have you pissed off exactly?

leland chapman wallpapers
Well, I hate to say it, but after recent events, that might be a good choice for a backup career.

one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve song
You must really want that Sesame Street song if you’re going to type all that into a search engine. We’ve got great SERP for numbers! Who knew?

cocoa cola blak
That sure would have tasted better than this.

dawg the bounty hunter
That’s the animated version they were in talks for, but that’s been canceled too.

hamlet games
Yes, I think it would make a great MMORPG.

hot fuzz the greater good
“The Greater Good”

what day is halloween day
Everyday.

“clown sex” dvd
I can honestly say we haven’t reviewed that one. But thanks for thinking of us.

“elvis didn’t do no drugs!” said penn & teller
And I believe them.

“loken’s boob job”
This would be a great name for a punk band.

“mama mia” hentai
If you had added another M and made it “Mamma Mia hentai,” then I really would have been scared.

“using proper english” fuck
This just makes me happy.

“xbox game” + “high heels”
A brand new fetish site just waiting to happen.

“this is a darn clever bunch”
Thanks for the vote of approval.