This coming Monday in Long Beach, James Earl Jones is going to read “Jack and the Beanstalk” to some fourth graders. This is something he’s doing for Verizon as part of some… thing. That part doesn’t really matter.
But every now and then I see the press releases come across for Jones doing a reading for kids as part of his Verizon gig. And every single time I think, “To hell with the kids, I’d like to hear that.” While it goes without saying that James Earl Jones reading something could make anything worth listening to (yes, even The DaVinci Code and yes, even JMS‘ Spider-Man–such is the awesome power of Jones), who doesn’t want to hear Jones let it rip as the voice of the freaking Giant? “Fee fie fo fum!” Bad. Ass.
So here’s my free idea for Jones: dude, take it on tour. Is there anyone among our readership who wouldn’t pay to see Jones give a live reading of a bunch of kids’ stories? Hey, if you have spawned, you can take your kids so you have an excuse! “We’re really here for Timmy.” “Timmy’s two months old.” “Well, he’ll remember this, we’re sure.” James Earl Jones Reads Any Damn Thing He Wants–Live. No charge, Mr. Jones. Just let me know when the itinerary is locked.