The Amazing Randi's Million Dollar Challenge Now Has an Expiry Date

James Randi, head burrito of the James Randi Educational Foundation, has been sitting on a million dollars that he was willing to award to anyone who could prove, in a testing setup that both parties would agree to beforehand, that they had some kind of paranormal abilities. It was established in 1998. Ten years on, and they've had no winners:

Our expectations at first were that we'd attract major personalities by this means, but they've avoided having to take the test by simply not applying; those who have actually applied are generally honestly self-deluded persons who have difficulty stating what they can do, which can be understood if they really don’t know what they're experiencing; we at JREF have gone through involved procedures to help them recognize their problems. Usually, they have indicated that they don't know what real scientific rules are, when it comes down to their actually being properly tested.

In 2010, twelve years to the day after it was established, it's going to be withdrawn so they can use the money for other projects.

At the suggestion of our own ScottC, we've put together five humble suggestions for what to do with the money...

• Set up a defense network against Derren Brown. It might be too late, but as we've warned you before, we have to do something.
• Buy the rights to the White Noise movie franchise. Not to counter Electronic Voice Phenomenon claims, actually, but just to keep them from making any more of the films. Because they're crap.
• Buy Uwe Boll and dissect him to see what makes him tick. Because we think his career is the key to zero point energy. Honestly, nothing ever goes into his career but yet he keeps turning out movies. Surely we can harness this and turn it to something positive.
• Launch a campaign to alleviate concerns about 2012. I mean, honestly, your day planner doesn't go past the end of the present year. The Mayans just made a day planner that was around five thousand years long because they just didn't like refilling it every year. Has anybody considered this?
• Fund Magicpalooza. Seriously, take a festival on the road that's like a big multi-band concert event, except it's magicians and illusionists. Or hell, do it in one place (like Peter Gabriel does with the WOMAD festival stateside) and sell DVDs. Penn & Teller, Ricky Jay, Criss Angel, this guy (honestly, not the real guy, but the parody guy)--bring everybody out for a big sleight of hand party.

• Click here to buy James Randi stuff from Amazon.