He Stabs It With His Steely Knives But He Just Can’t Kill Himself

Here’s a safety tip: if you’re going to (allegedly!) shoplift knives don’t hide them in the waistband of your pants. I mean, you’re male, so presumably you keep things in your pants that are worth more than the $300 of knives that you’re trying to steal–if you catch my meaning. Because if the knives aren’t there, then you can’t fall on them during your botched escape attempt. This happened at a Meijer store in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

Found via The Consumerist.