Brain Toniq Drink Review

Brain Toniq

Okay, so there’s lots of energy drinks on the market right now. When fashion designers and race car drivers are getting their own branded energy drinks, then you know it’s pretty damn universal. Hell, if I wanted to, I could have an energy drink. So. If you’re coming out with a drink these days, how the hell do you stand out from the crowd? And, let’s face it, if you’ve had as many energy drinks as I have, they tend to all come in about three different flavors, “Tasty,” “Oh, that wasn’t so bad” and “Oh for the love of Christ’s mum!” So whenever there’s something new and different hanging around, I have a tendency to notice.

Enter Brain Toniq. Billing itself as a “think drink,” they say they’re the world’s first non-caffeinated “nootropic smart drink.” In fact, here’s from the press release:

“It surprises many Americans that you can get this kind of concentration effect without caffeine,”

[creator Scott] Ohlgren states, “but caffeine is not the only alkaloid in the plant world that has a cognitive enhancing effect. It’s just happens to be the most overused.”

Now overuse is obviously in the biology of the beholder, but I can hear the outcry now. “Widge! What the hell? You’re going to say nice things about a drink with no caffeine in it?” And yes, we encourage people to stay up and avoid sleep and get more done by any means necessary. So if a non-caffeinated drink can do the trick, fine. Granted, I might down a few NoDoz while sucking it back, but you know what I mean.

Basically they set out to create a drink to help your brain. And a lot of you people have met the Needcoffee staff in person and you know our brains can use all the help available. So I was eager to try this. So. I generally pop a can and drink before reading the ingredients because I’m just…well, an idiot. So we start with taste.

Taste is good. You can definitely taste the agave nectar (which I was pretty sure was agave even before I read the can) and it’s rather tasty, easy to knock back. No real aftertaste to speak of. The color is a little like chocolate milk, which was a bit odd because the taste and the look of the drink are so completely opposed to one another.

As I was kicking it back, I read the can. 20g of sugar, which is impressive. The side of the can says “No caffeine. No processed sugar. No fake anything. Just pure herbs, natural compounds, and organic agave nectar.” So I like the fact it tastes good without a lot of sugar. The proprietary blend of stuff that powers this drink is choline, eleutherococcus extract, rodiola rosea extract, DMAE and blue green algae. Honestly, the only thing in there I recognize is the algae. Checking out the drink’s site, though, I see that eleuthero is the super-villain name for Siberian ginseng, rodiola is supposed to enhance mitochondrial energy production, and choline is supposed to help “produce the main memory neurotransmitter of our brains.” As for DMAE, “DMAE is natural-occurring substance produced by the human brain through two cholesterol enzymes, and is work primarily by speeding the production of acetylcholine, that crucial neurotransmitter responsible for carrying messages between brain cells.” Why, yes, of course. How silly of me.

So anyway, that’s all well and good, does it deliver? And the answer is: yes. I don’t feel the energy boost that I would from a massive dose of caffeine, but bear in mind you’re reading a review from a guy who has a tolerance level that if you actually knew what it was it would scare the crap out of you. What I did feel was a moderate lift in my brain clarity, which is saying something because my brain is like that storage unit from Silence of the Lambs, just add heavily armed clowns. But no, bottom line: it did as promised and fueled my cranium, but my body still is a bit slumpified even after consuming the whole can. So a brain energy drink? Sure.

Would I recommend you give this a try? Yes. Especially for you types who want to be aware but can’t consume heroic doses of caffeine. For more info and how to order, check out their official site.

By | 2017-09-24T23:21:13+00:00 March 12th, 2008|Reviews|6 Comments

6 Comments

  1. Russell June 21, 2008 at 11:46 am

    Just to be clear, this isn’t an energy drink but a think drink; however, it’s tasty and does help me focus.

  2. Ken June 23, 2008 at 2:46 pm

    I tried Brain Toniq twice, on 2 separate days.

    It had no effect whatsoever on me, so I would strongly suggest that you be skeptical.

    On the plus side, I told them of this and they promptly issued me a refund, without my asking.

  3. Widge June 23, 2008 at 3:17 pm

    Ken: It’s perfectly reasonable to be skeptical about anything. I applaud you on that. But I’ve had 500mg of caffeine have no effect on me and I usually need about twice the amount of painkillers than anyone else does (see my recent kidney stone adventure where it took 18mg of morphine to get me to stop trying to claw my own face off). So everybody’s body chemistry’s going to be a little different. Sorry it didn’t work on you but as you said, they’re cool guys and good with customer service. Thanks for the comment.

  4. Sam September 19, 2008 at 9:00 pm

    I tried this drink and it tasted good, but didn’t do much for me. I also tried a gum which is a similar idea called Think Gum. It did the trick way more than Brain Toniq did.

  5. zenaxe January 12, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    My experience is similar to others here, this stuff did nothing for me. I drank a four pack over multiple days with absolutely no effects. I must be getting enough vitamins in my normal diet. :)

  6. CAMILLA March 24, 2009 at 4:06 pm

    LOVED YOUR COMMENTS. YOU’RE HILLARIOUS!!!

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