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Stuff You Need to Know

Stuff You Need to Know, Friday, July 25, 2008

Widge
July 25, 2008
8 min read
David Walliams and Matt Lucas from Little Britain USA

Trying to play catchup here following the results of Zzzax stopping by to ask for a cup of sugar. Anyway, we are here to tell you, in brief, the pop culture developments that you need to know. Because you have better things to do than keep up with this crap. We, naturally, do not. Even though the bits are brief, they add up. So. You know. Get comfortable.

  • Afro Samurai: Resurrection is a sequel to the series with Sam Jackson returning to voice the lead character and Lucy Liu as his foe. Mark Hamill is in the cast as well, playing what sounds like Lucy Liu’s character’s Walsingham. The sequel hits Spike TV in January. Source: Variety.

  • Amazon and Hasbro are doing something kinda cool: for every “Hasbro Hot Summer Toy Event item” you buy through Amazon now through August 2nd, Hasbro will donate a toy to Toys for Tots. I try not to look at new toys these days. The results are just too depressing. Bloody LazerTag is unrecognizable. And you can ride a dinosaur. Granted, it’s not as cool as this badboy, but still. Remember when Stretch Monster was the cutting edge of toytech? Man, I miss drinking at times like these. Anyway, to check out the Amazon/Hasbro offer, go here.

  • Ben 10‘s live action made-for-TV movie based on the animated series at Cartoon Network was directed by Alex Winter. Yes, Bill from Bill & Ted. Well, he’s also getting to helm the second TV movie which will be based on the second animated series. He’s apparently been busy since Freaked, which was the last time I had seen his name come up. Good for him.

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  • Blow is hitting Blu-Ray on September 23rd. Because what I really want to see on my hi-def television is Johnny Depp and Paul Reubens and lines of cocaine. What’s that? You’d rather have Young Frankenstein on Blu-Ray instead? With a crapload of new features? Me too. And we’re in luck: October 7th from Fox.

  • Russell Brand is hosting the MTV Music Awards on September 7th. Damn. Whoever Russell’s got for an agent needs a raise. Nice gig, man. If you don’t know Russell, here: we can help. Source: BBC.

  • Gerard Butler has reported that the new movie RocknRolla is better than sex. Then he went on to say “Well, not with me. But with every one else.” Which has got to be disappointing to him, because if you think about what he just said, if he really wants a good time, he either has to watch RocknRolla or masturbate. Because sex with anyone who’s not him just doesn’t cut it. What a sad life for Gerard Butler. Or…maybe not. Source: Hollywood Reporter.
    • Casino Royale 40th Anniversary DVD cover art

  • Casino Royale–the original film, mind you–gets a 40th anniversary special edition from MGM on October 21st. Although I guess the “40th anniversary” part would have cleared that up for most. Looks like it’s coming with a commentary from Bond historians and a bunch of featurettes. You can pre-order it here.

  • Jon Heder reportedly always wanted to play a zombie, which gives him points in my book. He’s going to get his chance in an online series called Woke Up Dead, a “zombie comedy” running fifty three-minute episodes. Heder plays a college student who wakes up underwater in the bathtub and thinks he might be dead. Now I ask you: is there anybody who went through college who that didn’t happen to? Source: Hollywood Reporter.

  • Fans of Jamie Hewlett will want to check out the commercial he animated for the BBC’s Olympic coverage.

  • Life on Mars U.S. just got a lot more interesting. Harvey Keitel has signed on to play Gene Hunt, replacing Colm Meaney. I know we’re all dreading this, but at least he’ll be fun to watch. BAD LIEUTENANT 1973. Source: Variety.

  • If you want to see some of the most terrifying makeup bits you have ever seen, then check out the characters from Little Britain USA. They are brilliant. Although the astronaut wins the bowling trophy, as far as I’m concerned.
    Stephen King: Just After Sunset cover art

  • Based on everything I’ve been saying I bet you expect me to say that N. is the sequel to the movieM. Or, come to think of it, the prequel to O. But it’s neither. It’s a Stephen King short story that’s being adapted for the small screen. The very small screen, of which you probably have one in your pocket right now. Twenty-five episodes will be produced by Marvel Entertainment with CBS Mobile hooked up with Scribner. It’s in comic book style with art by Alex Maleev of Daredevil fame. The original flat text version of the short story will be available in the new short story anthology by King, Just After Sunset, which hits from Scribner on November 11th. You can pre-order yours here.

  • Remember that bit about Amy Poehler and The Office spinoff? Forget it. She has been banned from The Officeverse for life. No, seriously. “Amy will never appear in the world of ‘The Office,'” says NBC co-head burrito Ben Silverman. Harsh, man. Harsh. Instead she’s getting her own show that is…Silverman, are you sure it’s not–? “The show is not a spinoff. It does not come directly from the world of ‘The Office,'” he says. Okay then. Source: THRFeed.

  • Gordon Ramsay has started his own production company: One Potato Two Potato. He’s also exclusive for new television work to UL’s Optomen. First series: Cookalong Live with both U.S. and U.K. flavors planned. I’m surprised there’s not a U.S. version of The F Word. It’s an excellent cooking/chat show. You’d think it would go over well over here. Source: Variety.

  • Another Robocop movie? With Darren Aronofsky directing? And David Self scribing? Really? MGM has signed the deals and it’s slated for 2010. They’re also saying that it’s a “new installment” rather than a reboot or a remake or a reswizzle or whatever. I’ll pretty much go see anything Aronofsky has going, but let’s bear in mind Self did write Road to Perdition, but also the Haunting remake.

  • Good Lord, do we really need a Rocky Horror remake? Even more than that, do we really need it to be remade by MTV? And now, I’m going to put an image in your minds–a concept that will completely fuck up your world. Imagine Rocky Horror redone in the vein of High School Musical. Happy brain gouging. Source: Variety.

  • Something just occurred to me, as I was cleaning up some old posts. You know me, always looking for a silver lining. Stop laughing. With Starbucks actually starting to close stores, this guy might actually catch up.

  • Synecdoche, New York is the directorial debut of Charlie Kaufman, the mad genius who scribed Being John Malkovich and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. If that wasn’t enough, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Catherine Keener and Samantha Morton are in the cast. It’s coming out this October, distributed by Sony. Nice.

  • Twilight Zone: The Movie again? Leonardo DiCaprio’s production company wants to take one or two classic episodes and try to splice them together to make a single story that they can turn into a feature film. What’s funny is that the original article ties this to the upcoming X-Files movie–and I’m sorry, but all signs point to that being buried with Dark Knight‘s second weekend. Sorry, Leigh. But that ship I think has sailed. So anyway, if anybody’s banking on XF2, well…don’t. Because even if The Bat drops 50% that’s, what, 75 million? Criminy. In fact, Hollywood Reporter had this laughable line I just saw: “The big question this boxoffice session is whether a big second weekend for The Dark Knight darkens prospects for the frame’s wide openers.” Dear Whoever: just say no to drugs. That is the biggest non-question you will get this year. Please do not waste our time any longer. You are banished to the Plastic Room of Candy-Coated Silly People for all time. Go. Source: Hollywood Reporter.

  • Warner Brothers is releasing the Homefront Collection on November 11th. This includes This is the Army, Thank Your Lucky Stars and Hollywood Canteen, the two latter films are new to DVD. And here’s the bit I like: they come with trailers, newsreels and cartoons from the day. Nice. No pre-order available yet. Stay tuned.

  • Watchmen: The Game. This is coming out as a prequel game from Warner Brothers Interactive Entertainment for the Xbox 360, PS3 and PC. And somewhere, Alan Moore’s beard has caught fire in rage. Source: Hollywood Reporter.
  • Witchblade is being adapted for a third time–this one for the big screen. For fans of the television show, I wouldn’t get your hopes up. The article states that very specifically they’re adapting the comic. Michael Rymer of Battlestar Galactica fame is set to helm. I suggest that, based on the comic art of the character that I’ve seen, your best bet is to shoot the lead actress in a green suit. That way you can CG-adjust the amount of skin she has showing for PG, PG-13, R and unrated. Yet another brilliant notion at no charge. Source: Variety.

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    7 comments

    • I love Alan Moore. I really do. I try to read everything he’s put his hand and amazingly wonderful brain to, and he’s got some of the best theories on magic, thought, and substance dualism, in the field.

      He’s a Very Cranky Old Man.

      He gave up the adaptation rights to these things. Movies, video games, novelizations, comic adaptations of the novelizations of the movies made of his stuff (don’t laugh, that shit happened). All of it. He said: “Take it. I don’t want my name attached, I don’t want any input to it, I don’t want to look at it, hear about it, smell it, or have the faint aftertaste of it mar my Superior English Palette.”

      So where the fuck does he get off being angry at what happens to the things of which he has washed his hand?

      I think that Mr. Moore would do well to remember, as often as possible, the story about Raymond Chandler:

      When The Big Sleep was made into a movie, and reporters would go to interview him, they would tell Chandler “they ruined your book,” and he would get up, walk to the bookshelf, grab a copy of it and say, “No, it’s right there.”

      It’s Still Right There, Mr. Moore. It’s Still Right There.

    • I’m apologize for the crude nature of this comment, it’s not to scale. (Which is to say, in any particular order. Because let’s face it, neither are my thoughts.)

      Well, after Damien’s post, I feel somewhat embarrassed at my complete lack of knowledge regarding Alan Moore. But I did read The Watchmen. (And the nachos were delicious.)

      Never watched Afro Samurai, but if Skywalker, voice of the (animated) Joker is in? Yeah, I can’t afford to not pick this series up now.

      Normally I would rebel at the thought of a Twilight Zone movie, but then remembered Jon Lithgow’s rendition of Nightmare at 20,000 Feet. Well, him and Dan Aykroyd. All right, I’ll give it a shot. Don’t **** this up, DiCaprio.

      I’ve only watched the anime, (aforementioned problems regarding comics and my inability to jump into a plot arc,) and it was not something I went into expecting to have my fragile soul crushed. Did you see the final episodes? God, it’s like they introduced puppies just so they could be shot. You spend the time thinking, “Hey, it’s anime, they might find a loophole where everything turns out allright!” And you are wrong. On a different note, Widge, did you just imply the possibility of a PG Witchblade? How, exactly, would that be accomplished?

    • Damien: I know what you mean. And I don’t get it either.

      Mage: PG Witchblade means she’s wearing a body suit that covers everything. I’m not saying a GOOD PG Witchblade or a LOGICAL PG Witchblade, I’m just saying. It would get them in Wal-Mart.

    • I’ve been a fan of Afro Samurai for so long. I’m glad I stumbled onto this site (from omninoggin.com) and found out about Afro Samurai:Resurrection. I can’t wait till January!

    • Thaya: Thanks for stopping by…I ran across your site because you’re working on a plugin I plan to use a few versions from now. Small world, innit? :)

    • You just made me think of Big Figure. Hooray, I’m a little nerdier than I was a week ago! Okay, but I’ll stop mentioning Watchmen, I’m getting repetitive.