5000

Needcoffee.com was launched in 1998 as a joke. We spent so much time discussing various and sundry pop culture topics, it seemed like a natural thing to do to put it online somewhere where we could inflict this madness upon others. This was long before people decided to blog or to Twit or to do anything else where they would casually inflict their worldview upon the masses. So from the beginning, we were pioneers in wasting people's time online.

Not content just to waste people's time through text, we pushed the envelope. We were doing podcasting before it was podcasting--posting RealAudio (shudder) files of the original Widge Goes Off before there was RSS to alert people that they were there. Again, we were on the bleeding edge of time wasting technology.

At some point, we decided to move to the latest platform for wasting time: WordPress. A full-on blogging/content management system, it seemed the most efficient way to make people inefficient by giving them crazy stuff to mull over when they could otherwise be living out the life of a cubicle jockey that is, in some ways, less exciting than the day to day machinations of naked mole rats.

Somewhere along the line, from posting movie review to DreamCasts to God knows what, we started to get people visiting the site. That is, people we didn't know in real life. They stumbled upon us. Some stayed. Some fled in fear. Some are still down in the catacombs beneath the site, wandering in blind, mortal terror. But people started showing up. And they still keep showing up.

We've got readers on six continents. (We are still trying to cover all seven, so if you know of anybody in Antarctica, please send them my way. I just need a single hit to make it good.) We've got readers in pretty much every country. I have no idea who you people are, but I thank you for coming and I thank you for sticking around. We've spent most of our existence unable to cover the costs of the site--something we've just recently overcome--but because we are attention whores, that's where we get our real payment.

But now we've hit 5000 posts. And some of those are bits we've retrieved from the archives (of which there are mega-scads more to move over), but most are new bits, forged by the Needcoffee staff, all in effort to stay at the forefront of time wasting research and also to help you stay up, sleep less--so you thus have--that's right--more time to waste.

Thanks to everyone who has tolerated and even enjoyed our madness as we reached this dubious milestone. We urge you to help us grow and further our plans for world domination. If you buy stuff, buy it through us--because we appreciate the kickbacks. If you use a site like Digg, or StumbleUpon, or Facebook...feel free to promote any of our bits that you feel is worthwhile. And if you don't like the site and are perhaps reading us because you feel it fulfills some karmic balance that you need for all the terrible things you've done in your life, we spoke to the Spirits and they say, "Keep it up. We promise it's working."

Here's to another 5000 posts. We offer up hugs and espresso to you all, but not necessarily in that order.

Image.