Happy Belated Deathday, Prohibition

Prohibition Ends at Last

So I found out too late to put together a post on the day–but yesterday was the 75th anniversary of the repeal of Prohibition in the United States. Yes, to our readers outside this country’s borders: there was a time in the supposed Land of the Free when we thought it was a great idea to tell people they couldn’t consume alcohol. By law. At all. Like this guy:

Direct link for the feedreaders.

Beware them satanic honky tonks, friends! What a dick.

[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”]

Okay, so granted, in certain parts of this country you still can’t purchase alcohol on Sundays because it offends Jesus or some other nonsense, but eventually that silliness will go away as well.

But yes, on occasion Americans will come to their senses and realize that legislating personal responsibility is a crap idea and stop it. I felt like we should do something to commemorate this event, and it struck me that if we still had Prohibition, we would not only be without the wonderment of crystal skull vodka, but also a ton of great commercials.

Here’s Jackie Gleason in his character from Life of Riley. Listen for the singing afterwards: if that’s not Thurl Ravenscroft on the bottom, I don’t know who the hell else it could be.

Direct link for the feedreaders.

And we’ve got to have the bull as well. And that’s got to be Kevin Kline. Playing Robin Hood, not the bull, I mean.

Direct link for the feedreaders.

This is a terrifying stop motion commercial. I can’t tell what’s the worst part: how terrifying their faces are or the fact that when the bartender is singing at the beginning, it’s his moustache that’s doing the singing and not his mouth. Watch. I’m dead serious about this.

Direct link for the feedreaders.

And does anyone remember these two guys?

Direct link for the feedreaders.

And if we had Prohibition, we couldn’t have had this:

Direct link for the feedreaders.

At first I was wondering if this next Absolut ad ever aired stateside. Because I don’t watch television. Then I wondered: if we did still have Prohibition and nobody wanted us to drink, what would be the state’s reaction to alcohol commercials on YouTube? Because, of course, since we’re all mindless sheep in the eyes of the government, watching ads makes us want to blindly do and buy whatever. I wonder how they would react to that situation? Poorly, yes, naturally, but it’s just something to think about.

Direct link for the feedreaders.

And last but not least, if we still had Prohibition, we couldn’t have…this classic:

Direct link for the feedreaders.

That’s it from my teetotaling self for now. Consume responsibly everyone![/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

Related Articles

About author View all posts Author website


%d bloggers like this: