The Energy Drink Formerly Known as Cocaine – Drink Review

No Name Cocaine Energy Drink

Cocaine Energy Drink has had an interesting life. It was released and then a bunch of people got their panties in a twist concerning the name. So they came out as a “No Name” energy drink, with a place where you could write your own name on the can. Then Cocaine proper returned at last. So imagine my surprise when I ran across a can of the No Name stuff at a convenience store. Don’t worry, I checked the expry date and it was still quite good.

Now, back in the day when Redux sent me some of this, I plugged it on the old Gabfest. But finding it in its transitional phase made me inspired to try it again and write up a proper review.

The drink itself is formidable in its content: it has as sweeteners dextrose, inositol and sucralose. It has 750mg of taurine, 100mg of the inositol, 300% of your RDA of B6, 600% of B12, and 100% of your C. Plus 50mg of L-Carnitine, 250mg of D-Ribose and a whopping 280mg of caffeine.

Basically you’ve got a cherry-esque flavor with the woeful taste of sucralose and then a burning sensation that hits afterwards. Many people weren’t impressed by the burning sensation. Frankly, that’s what makes the damn thing drinkable at all IMO, since you’re so busy feeling the burn that it lessens the impact of the sucralose. I can’t imagine what the “Cut”/no burn version would taste like.

The pickup is rather spectacular, as you might imagine with that much caffeine in such a small 8.4oz package. In fact, it is fantastic. And I wish we could get a version without the sucralose that would be even better, honestly. Of course, the question is: if you don’t have the strong sucralose (and resulting aftertaste), would you be able to taste the caffeine? Perhaps. But as much as I wanted to finish the drink, the sucralose got to me after a while and I just couldn’t.

Dear Redux: please release a new version of this drink. You’ve got “Free” which is sugar free, you’ve got “Cut” which has no burn–I submit to you a version called “Pure” that has no fake-ass sweeteners in it would be brilliant. Please let me know when you’ve done that. In fact, you’ve already used red white and blue for your cans. Black is the next logical choice.

To snag some for yourself, click here. Tell them we said hi.

As an aside, if anybody wants to create a drink that will also freak people out with the name, why settle for drugs? Cunnilingus Energy Drink would probably be very popular.

By | 2017-09-24T23:06:20+00:00 February 7th, 2009|Drink Reviews|3 Comments

3 Comments

  1. Beth February 26, 2009 at 2:06 pm

    what a marketing scam this was. I tried this , did absolutely nothing! I want to try the one teaspoon shot that has 400mg of caffeine. FIXX makes it, has anyone tried it?

  2. Widge February 26, 2009 at 2:15 pm

    Wow. You’ve got my kind of caffeine tolerance levels there, Beth. I salute you. And no, haven’t tried the Fixx shot yet. Working on that.

  3. Daniel October 21, 2011 at 11:01 am

    When my brother bought me the drink and told me it tasted awesome I drank the whole can within seconds, the burn is Terrible but gave me no buzz what so ever. I have drank two 750ML of V and still I can go to bEd and sleep. This drink is okay I give it a 6/10

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