And if you want to know what it tastes like, well, I bet you’re imagining it now. Unless for some reason you’ve never had a Krispy Kreme doughnut. In which case, let me help you out. Eating a Krispy Kreme doughnut is to sugar and fat equivalent what drinking coffee is to caffeine for me. In other words, the bit of flour involved in shaping the sugar and fat into a round shape with a hole in it is just there to deliver said fat and sugar into your body. And when you eat one, it’s like having your mouth and throat coated with a frictionless layer of sugar. And God help you if you have no milk around.
In other words, it’s up there towards the apex of guilty snacks. So dump two of those into a vanilla milkshake so that when you drink it through a straw you’re ingesting small bit of pure sugar and fat…and yeah. So of course, I ordered this. And I did not finish it. Because it is pretty much impossible (or very very inadvisable at least) to do more than sip this thing. Because the sugar rush is…formidable, shall we say. And you’re talking to a guy who has consumed stimulants for years and years. And this thing was almost frightening in its power to pry my eyelids open.
In the end, even with a to-go cup, I didn’t finish it. Because while I am insane, I’m not crazy. And the idea of exploring the Marianas Trench of all sugar crashes was rather unappealing. So try it. Here’s their website. But be prepared to split it with somebody. I’m just saying.