MTV One Step Closer To Real Porn

giant cock

Gladys couldn't stop staring at the giant cock and all the meat it had.

We all know the refrain. All together now: “I used to like MTV when it played music”. With sites like Youtube where you can pull music videos on demand, does MTV really need to play them any more? Somebody must be watching shit like The Hills because I can’t see the network putting up with those spoiled little rich brats without major ad dollars coming in. But what’s even more frustrating is how the cable network flirts with but never quite goes all the way showing hard core sex.

Think about it. The channel has their cutesy dating shows like Next and Parental Control. The ‘dates’ are all unusual activities like cow pie tossing, snake charming, and sheep shearing. Personally, I want to see them engage in only one event, if you know what I mean. And I know you do. Then on the so-called reality shows The Real World and Road Rules, you have all that making out in the hot tub and the showers, infra red cameras in the bedroom, and enough alcohol to throw good sense right out the window. But all the naughty bits are blurred out and you never see The Beast With Two Backs unless it’s under the covers.

The latest bit of ridiculousness from MTV is called Hard Times. Why don’t I let The Hollywood Reporter explain.

The project, written by Seth Grahame-Smith and produced/directed by David Katzenberg (son of Jeffrey), is about a well-endowed high school geek (Paul Iacono) whose social status is greatly improved after accidentally exposing himself at a basketball game.

First off, don’t most kids have to change for high school gym class? I doubt guys are deliberately checking out each others junk, but someone should have noticed. Second, having a giant cock is not the boon most people think it is. Admittedly it’s better than having a microdick, but a lot of orifices are just not built to take that much meat. Third, I bet we’re not going to see said member. You’d think after Boogie Nights and Watchmen, the entertainment industry would be freer to whip it out. Ah well, maybe some day.

By | 2017-09-24T23:03:12+00:00 May 8th, 2009|Stimuli|5 Comments

5 Comments

  1. Shane May 8, 2009 at 6:42 pm

    Ummm…isn’t this essentially the same plot as HBO’s upcoming “Hung?” Except they’ve substituted high school geek for middle-aged coach? Not that I’ll be watching, as I passionately hate anything MTV comes up with these days.

  2. RoxofSpazhouse May 8, 2009 at 9:08 pm

    MTV’s re-envisions Hard Times by Charles Dickens, where Mtv’s geek star Thomas Gradgrind, Jr, learns all about reaping, and sowing so to speak.

  3. ScottC May 8, 2009 at 9:24 pm

    Shane: I had not heard of this series, but this phenomena of one concept – two movies hitting the screen is not new in Hollywood. Of course, we are more likely to actually see some cock on HBO.

    Rox: From Wikipedia’s entry in Gradgrind – “His name is now used generically to refer to someone who is hard” Oh yeah.

  4. Evil May 9, 2009 at 5:00 am

    I liked it when MTV2 showed music videos as well. “It’s where the music is”

  5. Annie May 9, 2009 at 9:12 pm

    Actually, back when MTV still used to kind of, sort of play music, they had a program called “Undressed” that was pretty much porn. Fun fact.

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