WARNING: The following video may disturb you.
Kel Mitchell has two children. Count ’em: TWO. Those of you that have less, evolution sees Kel as more fit than you. We at Needcoffee labs have been sounding the warning for the past few months and have recently sent our Amazon and YouTube miners out to bring back for you all things past and purchasable to take the edge off the crippling fear of bringing forth spawn.
As the 32 Days of Halloween are upon us we thought it was time to comb our archives in search of a way to make Halloween with younguns just as fun as Halloween without.
The Halloween Tree
Available in both book and movie formats (the latter excerpted above) this wonderful story is Uncle Ray Bradbury’s tribute to his beloved Halloween. Four trick-or-treaters follow Mr. Moundshroud, the ghastly owner of the titular tree (voiced by Leonard freakin’ Nimoy), through time to follow Halloween’s history from building Notre Dame cathedral to getting chased by a sentient scythe god in ancient Britain. Did we mention it’s narrated by Uncle Ray himself? It is, and it’s wonderful. The ending is so good you’ll be watching well until 3am as you put it on over and over again. (Click here to get the book from Amazon — the animated film does not appear to be in print on DVD, sadly.)
What Hammer Films were for adults, Goosebumps was for kids. If you were fortunate enough to grow up during R.L. Stine’s tenure as major domo of childhood terror, you were never short on slightly offbeat not too scary horror to read when you were a kid. Applications are endless: there’s the tv show, we recommend the premiere episode, “The Haunted Mask.” The books, all available freely at used and new bookstores, grab a couple to read to the kids Halloween night, The Haunted Mask is good, so is One Day at Horrorland and Welcome to Dead House. And if you’re feeling a little creative, acquire a used copy of the computer game, Escape from Horrorland. The game itself, not too good, but it contains this hidden gem:
Something Wicked This Way Comes
Yes more from Uncle Ray, and why not, the man essentially is Halloween. This is one of those books that you remember from your childhood thinking, and if you’re really honest with yourself, this is the most awesome book you’ve ever read. It varies between kind of spooky and pure nightmare fuel. If we had our way Something Wicked This Way Comes would be to Halloween what A Christmas Carol is to Christmas. Gather the kids around after trick or treating and read it aloud. Watch the movie if you must, but there’s really no comparison. (Click here to get the book from Amazon and here to get the DVD of the film adaptation from Amazon.)
You remember this movie, especially if you had The Disney Channel back when it showed REAL movies. And yes, it’s corny, and yes it’s a little cheesy. In case you don’t remember, the plot involves a coven of three witch sisters (Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kathy Najimy) who come back from the dead and try to steal the youth from the children of Salem. (And before you Stardust fans say a word it came out three years before) The best moments in the film come from watching the witches try to adapt to modern culture. And yes, you are not hallucinating that was Garry Marshall playing “The Master,” i.e. a guy in a devil costume the trio mistake for the real thing. Play it for the kids or put it on and give yourself a break from the chainsaw murder gore-fest some night. (Click here to get it on DVD from Amazon.)
Omri Katz, would later go on to star in Hocus Pocus–but we all tended to remember him from the David Lynch-esque freaky fest that invaded TV every Saturday morning. Eerie, Indiana, the show that had episodes so creative you thought you made them up yourself. Favorites include: a story about a housewife who keeps herself young by sealing herself in Tupperware; an episode that revealed where lost stuff goes; and an episode featuring a sentient ATM that gives away money. Perfect for a Halloween night of WTF moments. (Click here to get the entire series on DVD from Amazon.)
The Nightmare Before Christmas
It’s a Christmas movie. I don’t know why this is even on here…anybody? Hmm. Stay tuned later for the review on NostalgiAWESOME Christmas. (Click here to snag it on DVD from Amazon–or Blu-Ray from the same place.)
That’s all for now, have a weird and wonderful Halloween, may Uncle Ray watch over you. And see you next time on NostalgiAWESOME!