Why didn't I just let Nic Cage have the role? Damn.
There are pop culture websites out there that want to stretch every little snippet of news into its own post. They're squeezing blood from each metaphorical turnip they get hold of. Not us--we figure you don't have time for that. So we squeeze the blood out for you and give it to you with a little umbrella in it.
That metaphor didn't quite work out. Oh well. Enjoy.
Amazon's deal of the day is The Little Rascals: The Complete Collection for 68% off its usual price of $89.95. It's $28.49 as I type this and will be that way for today or until they run out. It's eight discs containing 80 original theatrically released shorts. Thought you might like to know. You can snag it here--but move if you're gonna.
Tom Hanks is going to be playing Capt. Richard Phillips, the man who was taken by Somali pirates and then rescued by the Navy. Project is in the scribing stages. Well, at least there's a movie about Pirates on the horizon I can look forward to. Source.
Hemingway and Gellhorn, the story of Ernest Hemingway's relationship with war correspondent (and third wife) Martha Gellhorn has one hell of a cast: Clive Owen (as Hemingway), Nicole Kidman (as Gellhorn), David Strathairn, Parker Posey, Lars Ulrich, Peter Coyote and Tony Shaloub. And now Robert Duvall. With James Gandolfini executive producing. Nice. That's from HBO Films and it's currently in production. Source.
Hobo With a Shotgun is not just a film, it's now a retro game, headed shortly to your iPxx device of choice. We await Rox's review with baited breath.
The Chinese project Journey to the West is definitely not screwing around. The Neil is on board to scribe, James Cameron is on board to consult regarding 3D (and sadly, script matters), and they're looking at maybe getting Guillermo Del Toro to helm. This is a trilogy of films for a $100M each. Just damn. Source: Variety.
The previously mentioned House of Cards is coming first...to Netflix. They're prepared to get exclusive streaming rights for two seasons' worth of the show. This to get into battle with everybody else, who is now doing streaming. Wonder what the first comic book series they nab will be. Source.
Silent Hill: Revelation 3D is currently in production, with Radha Mitchell, Sean Bean and Deborah Kara Unger returning. Source.
Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark goes dark for three weeks to get its shit together under the new director. Then it comes back May 11th for even more previews, then June 14th is the new opening date. The article at Variety basically says stuff that I interpret as thus: "Some of Julie Taymor's stuff? Yeah...yeah, we might have to lose some of that." People might be wondering why this damn thing keep selling tickets (a previous article said it had never played to less than an 80% capacity crowd--at stupid-huge prices). Well, I think it's the Carrie factor. I'm one of those people who would have loved to have seen the original run of Carrie: The Musical (which was all of...five performances, not counting its sixteen previews). Why? Because it was so legendarily awfully bad. (We posted some video snippets of it here.) So yes, those people are like NASCAR fans: waiting for the car crash.
More Star Wars-themed gear from Kotobukiya? Yes, including light saber chopsticks from Count Dooku, Anakin and Kenobi, joining the ones already for sale. They also have a Han Solo silicon tray, because you've always wanted a carbonite-flavored pudding pop. That can be pre-ordered here.
The previously mentioned Terra Nova is being pushed back to the fall rather than debuting with two one-hour episodes in May. This is because they need the extra time to finish the effects work. This kind of thing never bodes well...it better kick some serious ass to string people out for that long. I will say this, though: if the big reveal is that ten minutes into the first episode somebody does some trifling thing that sends ripples through the time stream and retcons humanity out of existence...and then credits roll...I will call that the greatest sci-fi series in history. Source.
Can the Robert Zemeckis CG Uncanny Valley reign of terror be at an end? Can the real Zemeckis return to us? No idea, but Mars Needs Moms, which featured terrifying zombie humans and terrifying noseless aliens, nose-dived at the box office. In other good news (sorry, Peter), the Yellow Submarine redo is dropped. And reportedly, Zemeckis is looking at live action again: including a Roger Rabbit 2. Wow. Disney, by having a film crater, you may have done the world a great service. Listen, everybody: Tron is hitting Blu-Ray shortly. Buy it as a way of saying thank you. Source: Variety.
The project Zombie Pet Shop has gotten sold to The Animation Picture Company for an animated 3D film. Here's the info: "concerns a mysterious plague that sweeps through a mall pet shop, turning all of the animals into zombies. An ordinary pug named Joey must come to the rescue to find the antidote that will save his four-legged friends, as well as the humans that might take them home." So it's...Dead Rising meets Homeward Bound? I could potentially get behind that. Source: Variety.
Widgett Walls is Need Coffee's Chief Cook and Bottle Washer. He is the author of the novel Mystics on the Road to Vanishing Point, and two collections of short stories, Magnificent Desolation and Something Else: The Complete First Season. He is also co-author of the children's book There's a Zombie in My Treehouse! All of those books are available in paperback or for the Kindle from Amazon. He is also the narrator and publisher of the first unabridged recording of Seneca's letters, available here. He is active on both Twitter and Facebook. (If you befriend him on Facebook, do say you came via Need Coffee.) He lives and works in Atlanta, Georgia. He hardly ever sleeps.