Late Night Snack Ice Cream by Ben and Jerry's

So apparently there was some sort of schtick on Jimmy Fallon's late night show about snacking late at night. This led Ben & Jerry's to create an ice cream flavor around this notion. I have no idea what they were on about originally, but the end result is an ice cream called--wait for it--Late Night Snack. The "macro-ingredient" list is as follows: "Vanilla Bean Ice Cream with a Salty Caramel Swirl & Fudge Covered Potato Chip Clusters."

So you've got their vanilla bean ice cream...which is delicious. The caramel swirl is there and indeed salty. And yes, little tiny spheres of potato chip stuff covered in fudge. And my reaction is...this simply must be some sort of joke that I'm not quite getting. Was the joke in question about how you'll eat anything if you smoke enough grass or something? Because you know what?

No. Hell no. This stuff is wrong and a singular affront to nature.

Only somebody with serious munchies and no taste buds would consider putting a potato taste into ice cream. And here's the worst part: it's subtle. It sneaks up on you. It's not even screaming your mouth "Betcha bite a chip!" or something. It's just a low undercurrent of repulsive chip-y taste. And don't get me wrong: I love potato chips. I love ice cream. But these two tastes should never have met.

Another way to conceive of it is this: you know at one point you've eaten something and maybe didn't brush your teeth and then went to go eat something utterly incompatible with the first thing? And the first taste wakes up enough to clash? Yeah. "Forgot to Brush Your Teeth After Eating Potato Chips" Ice Cream. What the world has been clamoring for.

I had a few spoonfuls of this stuff to make sure I was being fair and the more I put in my mouth the harder I had to work to make myself do it. You see, I sometimes have texture issues and ordinarily I don't like nuts in my desserts. So I wanted to make sure that these globs of chocolate and potato weren't setting off those alarms. Nope. It's just disgusting.

I mean...chocolate and potato chips, maybe. Not for me, but you know, maybe for somebody. Somewhere. In some universe. But use that to ruin a perfectly good vanilla and caramel ice cream? That is a criminal offense.

Believe it or not, I went into this thing with an open mind and curiosity. I left it, however, scrambling for something to drink to get the taste out of my mouth. This simply must be a bad joke that because I wasn't in on it, I foolishly bought a pint. Just stay away.