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Black Phoenix Battles Gamer Funk

By ScottC - posted 08.15.11 @ 6:36 pm
Black Phoenix RPG perfumes

Now we all know that nerd stereotypes are mostly wrong. Most nerds are not living in their mom's basements living an isolated lifestyle of video games, Star Trek marathons, and no contact with the vagina. We all know plenty of geeks who have their own homes, watch other television shows, and not only have sex--but even have children. But those who do fit the stereotype are out there. Since we are fast approaching the geek orgy that is DragonCon, we need to address another stereotype: the smelly gamer.

We all make jokes about the con goers who seem to radiate a sentient cloud of foul body odor. We all know about bringing a gas mask into the Gaming Room. We all bitch and moan about your inability to take a shower. Now, I can hear the gamers say that they don't smell or that do know what soap is and how to use it. The problem is that not smelling will not fix your bad reputation. You must replace the common perception of smelly badly by smelling well. Lucky for you, Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab is here to help you.

Now Black Phoenix has a vast variety of perfumes to choose from. It may be a bit intimating for newbies. But, Black Phoenix thought about you gamers and has developed the RPG Series

The perfumes are divided into a classic Dungeons & Dragons setup: Races, Classes, and Alignment. You have the full range to choose from. You can smell of metal, leather, and hops of the Dwarf or or the fragrant odors of forest moss, leaves, and flowers of the Elf. You can smell of the strange spell components like Sumatran dragon's blood resin and kaempferia galanga of the Mageor the shadow-hugging leather, wall-scaling hemp rope, and sound softening rosin of the Rogue. You can even smell of the lightness of Good or the darkness of Evil.

Not only do you have plenty of perfumes to choose from, you can mix and match the various scents. As the fine merchants at Black Phoenix explain:

Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab's RPG scent series was designed to emulate the character creation process, and are meant to be layered in order to create a character concept. In short: you layer your class, race, and the two fragrances that compose your alignment to construct your character scent.

So now you can smell like your Chaotic Good Halfling Rogue or your Lawful Evil Orc Fighter. (Yes, I know that the current edition of D&D doesn't use Chaotic Good or Lawful Evil any more. I used the word 'classic' for a reason.)

You can even make the your gaming environment less pungent. The Black Phoenix Trading Post is offering atmospheric sprays based on some of the most common locations in gaming. You can can give your den, dorm room, or basement with the smell of incense and damnation of the Unspeakably Evil Temple, the woods and glamour of a Fae Forest, or the spices and produce of an Exotic Bazaar.

So you have no excuse for fouling the air with sweating out your Mountain Dew and the stress of defeating that Colossal Red Dragon. When you notice that people are no longer gagging and holding their noses, you can thank Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab.

Read More About:

ScottC's full name is Scott Campbell: writer, actor, critic, and debauched libertine who serves as Need Coffee's Minister of Naughty Bits. When not engaged in matters of perfume, sex, and rock lobsters, he lends his body to The Mickee Faust Club and his voice to Curious Echo Radio Theater. He can be found on Twitter sexually harrassing all and sundry. He has written 435 posts. See them all here.

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