Pixar seemed to get its groove back with Inside Out, a look into the mind of an eleven year old girl. Her anthropomorphic emotional states that formed the committee running her brain are: yellow Joy, blue Sadness, red Anger, green Disgust, and purple Fear. Obviously for a family movie, you need to simplify the complex emotions everybody has. But people are made up of many more than the simple primary emotions.
Big Finish Productions has, since 1999, had the license from the BBC to make Doctor Who audio plays. Big Finish has turned this into a gold mine. They have created new stories for the five remaining classic Doctor Who actors (Tom Baker, Peter Davidson, Colin Baker, Sylvester McCoy, and Paul McGann) and for many of the remaining companions as well. New companions for the Doctor have been created, old characters have been given new spinoff series, and the Whoniverse has been explored and expanded unbound by visual effects. The BBC seems to be quite pleased by Big Finish. Not only were the Eight Doctor’s Big Finish companions named-checked in “The Night of the Doctor,” their license has been extended til 2020.
However, one area has been verboten. The BBC has made any reference to the new Doctor Who series off limits. So no Ninth, Tenth, Eleventh, or Twelve Doctors or any of the new companions, monsters, or events can be used in any Big Finish production.
Until now.
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Spring has finally arrived and with it signs of life: pollen everywhere, animals in heat, and people contemplating matters both romantic and carnal. And yes, people are always considering these matters to be sure, but it occurs with more frequency without the winter chill to distract everyone. There are many festivals to celebrate the return of vigor to the soil and to our loins. The ancient Roman festival Lupercalia comes to mind for some reason.
In this festival, priests would run around the city, striking women’s hands with thongs made from sacrificial animals. This would somehow help women get pregent and ease their childbirth pain. (Don’t ask me why, religion is confusing.) The festival also indirectly honors both Mars and Venus. Venus is obvious, with celebrants wanting fertility–which was a big selling point in the ancient Roman marriage market. Lupercalia also honors the she-wolf that suckled the twins Romulus and Remus–founders of Rome and sons of Mars. Mars and Venus had far more in common with each other than their modern interpretation–more yin and yang than opposing forces. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab explores this intertwining with their Ode to Venus and Ode to Mars. We expose these two below…and I think you will find it tantalizing.
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The Great Detective, Sherlock Holmes, must be one of the most scrutinized characters in fiction. Appropriate for someone who excels in observation and analysis. Study of the residents of 221B Baker Street and dissecting their stories is known as the Sherlockian game or more simply The Great Game. People regularly debate the location of Watson’s Afghan war wound (leg or shoulder) and Watson’s first name (John or James). Many have tried to determine Sherlock’s lineage, his university, and even his sexual preference. No detail is too minute for scrutiny. Since I have been writing about Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab a lot, something occurred to me. There seems to be a major aspect of speculation missing: what did Sherlock Holmes smell like?
As most of you are aware, Game of Thrones will be starting its fifth season on HBO. Usually this means a series’ expenses start growing ever faster and the quality is in danger of sliding downward. Now, Thrones may be the exception that proves the rule, but HBO is looking for the next big hour-long series. Like everything else in Hollywood, it will be based on an existing property. And since this is HBO, it should have plenty of sex and violence. So, the network is taking the over 40-year-old sci-fi classic Westworld and turning it into a series. I imagine many of you out there only have a vague idea of what Westworld is, so I thought I give you a brief primer on the film (yes, this is one case where we’re simply not telling you to ask your parents) and what HBO could perhaps do to make it a continuing series.
Ah Christmas (or alternative winter festival of your choice) time. An occasion where all are united in that most special and glorious of emotions: Fear.
You thought I was going to say joy or happiness, didn’t you? Now, joy is there, don’t get me wrong. But if we are honest with ourselves, Christmas is almost as scary as Halloween. Think about it. As a kid, you were terrified that Santa would judge you as naughty and what’s worse, now kids have to worry about that fucking Elf On A Shelf. Seriously, why don’t they just make the Sugar CCTV Fairy? As an adult, you fear forgetting getting a gift for someone or getting the wrong gift. You’re afraid of what the holiday season is doing to your bank balance and credit rating. You’re afraid that your aunt will get drunk and try to molest you or your uncle will argue that Obama is a atheist Muslim lizard Illuminatus or whatever he picked up from talk radio.
As always, Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab is here to help you embrace the festive fear instead of being overwhelmed by it with aromatic perfumes that will help you face your fears and permit it to pass over you and through you. Only you will remain. Well, you and the extra pounds would get from the Christmas spread but you can deal with that in the New Year. But at least you’ll smell nice!
An example of Christmas Creep
At dawn on November 1st, an explosion goes off in stores across America. Not a chemical or nuclear bomb: a festive bomb. Yes, retailers in their greed and desperation start those jingles and deck the aisles with holly, mistletoe, and every bit of Christmas crap their perverse consumer product researchers can envision. I don’t care what the “official” story is, The Elf On The Shelf was imagined by a toy executive after a 72-hour Hunter S. Thompson-inspired drug and hooker binge. This holiday madness has overrun Thanksgiving or The Day Before Black Friday (or Mauve Thursday or whatever the hell it’s called). It is only the dark occult power of Halloween that has stopped its advance. Speaking of Halloween, Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab gives you the scented tools to grab a little territory from the Kringle-Industrial Complex. Follow us as we peruse the aromatic armory from Black Phoenix. Because Halloween is always in our hearts. It can also be in our noses.
Ladies, you can do better
Tis the season for the internet to be inundated with articles on the latest in ridiculous ‘sexy [/fusion_builder_column][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][blank]’ costumes. You know, Sexy Nurse, Sexy Sexy Teacher, Sexy SWAT commando. Even geek culture is not immune from this. Take the picture above. In case they’re not obvious (or in case one look was sufficient and you don’t wish to repeat the experience), yes, you are seeing Sexy Beetlejuice, Sexy Pikachu from Pokemon, and Sexy Patrick from Spongebob Squarepants. I hate when reality is a better comedy writer than I am.
Now, I am not slut shaming. I am the last person to shame sluts, trust me. But some people for various reasons don’t want to expose so much so that the whole world is your gynecologist. Also, some of you want to show some class instead of some ass. So if you’re going out tonight or partying this weekend (I know it’s November, but hey, any excuse) I thought I would offer a few suggestions on costumes that are geeky and sexy but don’t make you look like a streetwalker.
Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab is constantly adding new material into their array of “scent adaptations.” And considering they’ve brought you their interpretations of the likes of H.P. Lovecraft and Neil Gaiman, adding Clive Barker to their stable only makes sense, really.
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Isabella Rossellini - Large and In Charge
It was bound to happen. Isabella Rossellini, making so many web series about animal sex, has finally made a web series about the consequences of all that animal shagging: getting pregnant and having babies. As the Sundance Channel website describes the series:
A lot of people are going to think Mammas is boring, especially compared to the kinky depraved variety of animal sexuality featured in her previous series. But those people just don’t know Isabella. She amuses, surprises, and even shocks, but never disappoints. With her characteristic whimsy, she depicts acts of deceit, child abandonment, cannibalism–and more–all in the name of the children.
