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Need Coffee’s Antidote To 4/20

South Parks Towelie

It’s April 20th, or 4/20. Yes, that 4/20. The day where you could probably get a contact high from being on the Internet. This day is a little problematic for me. I have friends who indulge and I have no problem with that. But like many here at Need Coffee, we struggle with Hypnos, the God of Sleep. Marijuana isn’t the best tool to battle such a being.

So in an attempt to produce some alternative programming, I thought I would supply some suggestions for some caffeinated products to get pass the weeds as it were. We have the many, many, MANY energy drink reviews Widgett has produced. He has bravely risked his own body, like many of the best mad scientists, to tell us which concoctions will kick you into gear. We also have many articles and reviews of other caffeinated products for your perusal. But I would like to spotlight a few products for you now.

We have our excellent Need Coffee Coffee. You will get wonderful coffee from Colombia. You will also get some global ecological karma because the coffee is Organic, Fair Trade, and Bird Friendly/Shade Grown. Even more, you will help support Need Coffee Dot Com. Caffeine, karma, and supporting your fellow java junkies. What more can you ask?


By | 2017-09-24T22:32:08+00:00 April 20th, 2012|Stimuli|0 Comments

Is Isabella Rossellini Seducing Me? Damn Right She Is!

The spider from Seduce Me

Image from the sequel to Blue Velvet, Purple Haze

I admit it, I have been lax and lazy. I have not been posting nearly enough and there is plenty of stuff out there in the jacuzzi of weirdness we call the Internet. Now, I have been getting a few posts up on the site, but when I saw this, I felt like I let you all down. I have failed to keep you up to date with Isabella Rossellini‘s fascination with animal sex and making video shorts about all the dirty dirty things they do.


By | 2017-09-24T22:32:50+00:00 February 26th, 2012|Stimuli|0 Comments

Happy Horny Werewolf Day From Black Phoenix

Happy Horny Werewolf Day

Hey baby, what's your sign?

When I write about the Lupercalia perfumes from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, I usually write an amusing little missive on the ridiculous and corporate nature of Valentine’s Day. However, I rediscovered this from Uncle Warren and I must bow to the master. Especially if he wants to do something naughty.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all. And to those who hate the day, I say this: Valentine’s Day is a Christian corruption of a pagan festival involving werewolves, blood and fucking. So wish people a happy Horny Werewolf Day and see what happens.

He’s selling cards of this sentiment for you to give for that special someone. Fuck Hallmark.

With that out of the way… on with the scents!


By | 2017-09-24T22:32:57+00:00 February 14th, 2012|Headsup|0 Comments

Bob and Carl: Sci-Fi Janitors – Sweeping Up Comedy

To paraphrase Douglas Adams, “DragonCon is big. Really big. You just won’t believe how vastly, hugely, mindbogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist’s, but that’s just peanuts to DragonCon, listen…”

There is so much going on, even DragonCon pros like Needcoffee can’t keep track of it all. Things slip through the cracks. Like these two guys:

Sci-Fi Janitors

Who are they? They are stars of DragonCon TV. DragonCon TV is the video content that can be found at the convention, in rooms between panels–pretty much anywhere there’s a screen that can be comandeered, it’s there. And these two puppets were part of the madness: Bob and Carl: Sci-Fi Janitors


By | 2017-09-24T22:33:18+00:00 February 6th, 2012|Stimuli|3 Comments

Avengers Cologne: Superpowerful For A Man, But Made For A Geek

Avengers cologne

I know that aggressive merchandizing is standard operating procedure for media companies. How else are they going to maximize their monetizing streams. So we get flooded with T-shirts, action figures, plush toys and anything else you can slap some copyrighted imagery on. The problem is that marketers get a little…insane. It’s almost like a form of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, where your licensed content must be every single thing available or else it is unclean. Think I’m exaggerating? I have a perfect example.

Avengers Brand cologne.

Yes, really.


By | 2017-09-24T22:33:26+00:00 January 27th, 2012|Headsup|2 Comments

Black Phoenix Has Perfumes For Both Naughty And Nice

Black Phoenix Yule 2011

One of the author Jasper Fforde’s more interesting concepts from his Thursday Next books is the Church of the Global Standard Deity–a melange of religions that most people can mostly agree on. While it is supposed to alleviate the conflicts that differences in religious doctrine can cause, you have to wonder how satisfying the services are. Speaking of satisfying, have you ever bought a tomato or strawberry that looks ripe and colorful, then found it had no taste? That is Permanent Global Summertime, where grocers make sure that produce is available for the consumer, no matter the time of year or the lack of flavor. Of course, we are in the midst of Global Standard Winter Holiday, or as it is colloquially known, Christmas. And as businesses attempt to include everyone in the Holiday Season, a lot of traditions, variations, and uniqueness find themselves stripped away. That is why I enjoy the Yule perfume line from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. It shows the many rich facets of the holiday season, far beyond the standard Mall Santa, Muzak’ed carols, and supermarket holiday cookies.


By | 2017-09-24T22:34:12+00:00 December 22nd, 2011|Headsup|1 Comment

Curious Echo Is Back!

Remember me posting around two years ago about a audio theater group I was with, Curious Echo Radio Theater. We had just released our first show, Beware The Moon Wraith: The Orb of Phoebe with the promise of more to come. Then silence.

Here is an explanation.

curious echo on air logo
You see, there is this thing called Real Life. You know, jobs, school, family, all that stuff. Now Real Life sometimes can be enjoyable but it is time consuming. And it hit us hard. Frankly, it pretty much derailed us. Curious Echo Radio Theater was down… but not out.

Our resident scribe, Louis Gutierrez, was busy. He had been busy not only writing scripts for The Moon Wraith along with Frank Gadsden: Personal Injury Lawyer of the Future and Shadows West. He also set up a home studio to record these scripts. For the last few months, we have been busy recording and editing some programs for you to listen and enjoy.

So the first Frank Gadsden adventure, Time Wounds All Heels will be up in the next few days. And new adventures will soon follow after that. So please tell us what you think of the new material. Tell your friends. Talk about us on your favorite social media site. Thanks in advance.


By | 2017-09-24T22:35:23+00:00 November 13th, 2011|Stimuli|0 Comments

Sights And Sounds At The Pickman Gallery: Black Phoenix’s Halloween 2011

It's Halloween at Black Phoenix

I was enjoying the latest Halloween releases from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. You have the classics such as the child-like sweetness of Boo, the more aggressive boozyness for Devil’s Night and John Barleycorn, and the melancholy mix of the bounty of the harvest and the dying of the summer light that is October and Samhain.

There are also some new fragrances in the trick and treat bag. Elegy IX: The Autumnal evokes the stately beauty of the autumn, a scent that is pleasurable but is not subject to the riot of spring. The beauty of the night time that is invoked by A Nocturnal Reverie comes across with musk, fruit, and flowers in shades of purple and black. Even the beauty of a cemetery and those who reside there can be expressed in the poem Nothing But Ghosts as well as the scents of dried fruits, moss hanging from the tress, and violets left by the grave.

Even death cannot stop love as described in the poem Ghosts In Love with the lightness of lily of the valley, white carnation, and white sandalwood. This is countered with Le Revenant which tells of, to put it bluntly, a supernatural booty call. This is matched by a mixture of sweet yet heavy florals like gardenia, narcissus flower, and ambrette seed.

While perusing all these heady aromas, something fell out of the package they came in. I picked it to investigate.


By | 2017-09-24T22:35:55+00:00 October 27th, 2011|Headsup|0 Comments

32 Days of Halloween V, Audio #4: Haunted Houses

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Our next reader for 32 Days of Halloween audio is ScottC. Here’s “Haunted Houses” from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. Enjoy.


Find it directly here. Or subscribe to the feed to get all the 32 Days audio. If you’re already subscribed to our Needcoffee.com general podcast feed, you already get them, so you’re good.

By | 2017-09-24T22:37:05+00:00 October 3rd, 2011|32 Days of Halloween, Podcasts|0 Comments

The Mercury Men Are Here

Mercury Men Title

Many of us have been a vegetable in the cubicle farm. Many of us have scars on our souls from the bureaucratic monotony and have had our humanity dulled by the neutral color schemes specially developed to do so. But here’s a thought: it could be worse. You could be an office worker in 1975. No office network, no email, and no PC to make work go faster. No smartphone, no MP3 player, and no Internet to make the day around you go faster. You might have a transistor radio. Maybe.

And of course, you would have to deal with the eight-foot aliens of solid light who fire electrical bolts and are planning to crash the Moon into the Earth.

By | 2017-09-24T22:37:48+00:00 September 12th, 2011|Stimuli|1 Comment