It’s true. They all just spontaneously combusted in the wake of Netflix releasing this, the trailer and date announcement for Invader Zim: Enter the Florpus, the long-awaited continuation of the mad animated saga. If this doesn’t make you excited to see this, then your medication needs adjusting. And I say that as a friend.
There’s too much information out there. Especially when it comes to Comic-Con weekend. But don’t worry. Go on with your lives. I sift through this stuff so you don’t have to.
Because the Night is a four-part series coming to ITV across the pond (and then to the States and elsewhere eventually, of course) from Neil Cross, based on his novel Burial. Cross is the man who brought you Idris Elba as Luther, the first series of which is some of the most nail-biting television I’ve ever seen. As for the title, yes, I too finished it with “belongs to lovers.” Source.
Back in my younger days, somewhere around 1891 or so, there were a number of classic soft drinks that were near and dear to my heart. There was Surge, the thinking man’s Mello Yello, which has returned and doesn’t appear to be going anywhere. There was also the guarana-laced Josta, the best thing Pepsi ever created, which has yet to return. And there was Jolt Cola, much beloved among anyone who craved some liquid sleep and needed something to wash down the last pot of coffee.
If you’re thinking that this drink is terrifying, well…you’re not wrong. (I’ve provided a backlit photo below so you can truly enjoy the blue-ness of this monstrosity.) Obviously this limited edition is geared towards July 4th here in the US, and well, “50 Flavors in One” is a very American sentiment either way you look at it.
Ideally, it could be 50 Flavors as in “look at what happens when you blend a bunch of stuff together like the melting pot experiment that this country is supposed to be!” Or, and more realistically, it could be 50 Flavors as in “look at what happens when you put 47 more flavors into a drink than is reasonable!” These are both truly American sentiments.
First thing upon opening the cap…not a lot of fizz. It could just be my bottle, though. What probably wasn’t just my bottle is the fact that it smells exactly like it looks. I’m not sure how to describe it except that, yes, it smells very…blue. Not blue as in “the classic music of the likes of Muddy Waters and Robert Johnson” but blue as in “this is in no way natural and it looks a bit like the blood of an alien.” It freaking smells that way. Just…blue. All the sugary drinks in childhood that you loved, this is what would cause those beloved drinks to wake up in the middle of the night screaming. That’s the smell I’m talking about.
As for taste, it tastes blue as well…and not even some cheery sort of cheeky kind of blue raspberry taste. It tastes blue like someone played some horrific taste-based version of “Telephone” with about sixteen people and this is what came out the other side when what you started with was blue raspberry. 50 Flavors? I guess I assumed those would be 50 different flavors, but it wasn’t. It was just…the taste of blue. The taste of blue with several tablespoons of sugar mixed into it.
Oddly, after this vicious assault on the tastebuds, it fades into the background, as though nothing happened. But you can tell something happened. There is the ghost of an aftertaste, like your tongue suddenly developed PTSD. And by that I mean, you’ll think the taste is gone and then it will surge forward again to freak you out, like your tongue is Tim Robbins in Jacob’s Ladder.
July 1, 1967 was the day that Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band started its fifteen week run at the top of the Billboard 100 chart. It is (un)arguably the greatest album of all time. But as big a fan as I am, I had some idea of how much had gone into the creation of it…but I’m not a real musician so I didn’t really grasp everything that was going on in it musically. That is, until I saw this excellent BBC documentary (aired on PBS stateside) in which musical composer Howard Goodall takes you through it. Highly recommended.
(gained a half-cup due to awesome visuals and a guy trying to shoot a planet)
Written by: Frant Gwo, Gong Ge’er, Wu Yi, Yan Dongxu, Yang Zhixue, Ye Junce & Ye Ruchang, based on the novella by Liu Cixin
Directed by: Frant Gwo
Starring: Qu Chuxiao, Wu Jing, Zhao Jinmai, Ng Man-tat, Li Guangjie
It’s the future, and not only do we (apparently) still not have jetpacks, but the Sun is going to expand and engulf the Earth in a hundred years. To add insult to injury, a couple centuries after that, it will have swallowed the rest of the solar system as well. Because mankind can get its act together when there’s some massive, obvious, world-shattering threat (and pretty much only then), humanity forms a world government with a focus on saving the planet and (most) of the people on it. To do this, they plan to spend a couple of millennia moving the Earth to a new solar system. You might think is a plan fraught with peril–and you’d be right–because Murphy’s Law (and the Law of Disaster Movies) says that Something Big goes wrong. And hoo boy, does it.
Do you know the name David Klein? I did not. I certainly should have, because he’s the guy who created one of my favorite candies: Jelly Bellies. (Inevitably, each Xmas, I wind up getting one if not two large assortments because people know my weakness for the damn things.) Also, I should have known him because anyone who can effectively wear a candy sombrero is definitely worth knowing.
One of his most recent projects was handled through Kickstarter: Polar Popcorn. So of course I threw in with the lot because this guy is A) apparently damn good at coming up with tasty candies and 2) a veritable hoot.
It’s Weekend Justice: the Internet’s #1 audio trainwreck. This episode was recorded in April 2018.
Agenda:
These…are Chai Tea Caramels from Marich. They are chai tea flavored caramel surrounded by white chocolate. Addictive? Oh hell yes. As a fan of all things chocolate (including white chocolate, even though I know it’s not technically chocolate, but whatever) and a big fan of chai, this is something that you should only buy about twelve balls of at a time. This is mostly because whatever you buy you will probably consume in one go. You’ve been warned.
Written by Carey W. Hayes & Chad Hayes
Directed by James Wan
Starring Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, Lili Taylor, Ron Livingston, John Brotherton
Ed and Lorraine Warren (Wilson & Farmiga) are demonologists. They help people who have no one else to turn to. They’re like The Equalizer but for people menaced by supernatural forces. They do lectures. They give interviews. They assist at exorcisms. And they have a room in their house that serves as both museum and Vault of Mysteries, keeping sinister objects locked away from the rest of the world. (Let’s draw a veil discretely over whether or not that’s a good idea.) Enter the Perrons (Taylor & Livingston) who just moved out into the country to an old house that happens to have a history. That history is now tormenting their five daughters, putting bruises on Mrs. Perron and basically it’s all turning into an episode of Homes Under the Hammer of Satan. Time for Lorraine, Ed, and Ed’s sideburns to get to work.
