Author - Wolven

The Oatmeal on Nikola Tesla

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David Bowie is Tesla

David Bowie, standing in for Tesla. He too has Wizard Eyes.

Thanks to The Oatmeal, the world now knows that Nikola Tesla had what the kids at “Adventure Time!” aptly termed Stanky Old Wizard Eyes*.

And, really, is that surprising? The man was a Ghat Danged LIGHTNING WIZARD. In an age when people were still using the fart stank residue from oil wells to light their homes, Nikola Tesla created wireless electrical transmission and used it in his house. He showed off his ability to create ball lightning to his friend Mark Twain. And then…!

I mean… Just… WHAT THE HELL, people?!

I tell you this, for free: If I had a time machine, the first thing I’d do is go forward in time, dig up Tesla’s corpse from the monument at which I’ll have it buried, then I’d go back in time to the moment of Tesla’s “death.” I’d swap out his corpse for him, and bring him back to the present, where Modern-Day medical tech–much of which owes its existence to him–could revive and nurse him back to health. Just so he could SEE it, you know? Just so he could take it all in, and understand how much we rely on even the smallest of his works, and so he could do maybe ONE last thing with that mind of his.

That’s what I’d use a time machine for. Yes.

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Q: What Are You Prepared To Do? A: Mashup Some Trailers

Avengers Four Posters

Found via sxyblkmn, I submit to you: The Avengers Extended Mashup Trailer (by ScreenRant)

And Honestly? This needs to be the trailer they play in theaters. This ties every one of the individual films together, seamlessly. It brings you back to the centre of focus with Nick Fury in each one, and then throws you right back into the heart of the new film.

It takes any worries you may have had about “Well how are they going to have enough space for all of them in the same movie,” and it kicks those worries in the teeth so hard that you poop rainbows.

Yeah. I just said that.

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Why Fringe and Futurama Are Pretty Much the Same Show

So. We’re all SF nerds here, right? We’ve all watched the first four seasons of Futurama, and we’re all watching Fringe? Yeah, of course we are. So you’ll all be with me, and you’ll understand what I mean when I say that, I recently realised that

Reiden Lake:FRINGE::The Cryochamber:FUTURAMA

Okay, maybe that doesn’t make a lot of sense, no matter what you’re watching. I will explain sum up, but first I want to acknowledge a debt of brain machinations to a conversation with M1k3y, who asked the questions what got me thinking through this explanation of my analogy.

Here There Be Spoilers.

What I mean is that they’re both lynchpins for their respective universes. In Futurama, we see that, because of Fry, there’s a temporal anomaly at the cite of the cryochamber–the point where he goes forward in time (the Why of that is explained in the SUPER INTRICATE ARC of the first four seasons). In fact, we see in a What-If Machine episode that if Fry isn’t frozen, then the entire Universe CEASES TO BE.

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What I Want From “The Dark Knight Rises”

Dark Knight Rises Poster

So, in case you hadn’t heard, the full trailer for The Dark Knight Rises went live, and it is oh so very much yes. But, in addition to just showing you this brand new hotness and asking you “Christopher Nolan: Great Director? Or GREATEST Director?” I want to take a moment of your time to engage in some wild and nearly baseless speculation.

Now, some of you may not know it but, within the past three years or so, there’s been a thing in comics called “Batman, Inc.” The gist is this: Bruce Wayne has finally realised the extent of what he can do with all of his money and resources, and has started sending himself and other members of the Batman Family out into the world to recruit local candidates to be Batman in that city/part of the world.

Each new recruit has their own codename, but they all wear an easily recognisable version of the Symbol of the Bat. This says, “You know who Batman is. Look at me. I’m Batman. I have all of the Batman’s resources and the full weight of his network of support.” This is really just the logical extension of what had already been happening in an organic way with the rest of the Batman Family.

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Ready to Walk Through It, Now Just Searching For the Door

Katie West

Recently, photographer, writer, all around interesting person, and friend of the show, Ms. Katie West wrote an article on the impact of The Matrix on the culture and minds of a certain generation: “I CAN ONLY SHOW YOU THE DOOR, YOU’RE THE ONE THAT HAS TO WALK THROUGH IT.

In this essay, Ms. West laments the lack of inspirational future narratives to be found in our culture these days, saying that, when we see the re-imagining of old promises in film, TV, and so on, we’re seeing a set of promises the like of which we haven’t seen since:

Unlike all those people in 1969 who have memories of where they were when Neil Armstrong said those famous words, I have no memory of where I was when the first person walked on Mars, or where I was when we achieved warp speed, because it never happened. I only remember where I was when terrible things happened. I know exactly where I was when planes crashed into buildings (in the darkroom at my high school developing pictures), or where I was when a tsunami almost wiped out an entire country I loved (in a bar in Los Angeles meeting people from the internet).

And the thing is, she’s right.

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The Black Rider: The First One’s Always Free

The Black Rider

As we approach autumn, it’s good to remember some of the music and art that makes us feel like fall. Certain bits and pieces of culture can live in a particular season, in our minds, and the stories that go with them can stick with us forever. For instance:

So Tom Waits and William S. Burroughs were sitting at a bar–at least I would assume it was a bar, because it was Tom Waits and William S. Burroughs, right? Anyway, they were sitting at a bar, and one of them said to the other, “You know what’s weird?” And the other one said “I have absolutely no idea anymore.” And then the first one said “German Morality Fables.”

And if that’s not how the idea for Burroughs and Waits to co-create “The Black Rider: The Casting of the Magic Bullets” was originally born, then by god it’s the way it happened now.

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Albarn and Dee Are On Their Own

Damon Albarn

Remember a few months back, when I mentioned that Alan Moore, Damon Albarn, and Jamie Hewlett were planning on doing a rock opera about the life of Magician John Dee? Well apparently that’s not happening anymore, as Moore and Hewlett have dropped out. But Albarn Really wanted to make this thing, so he just went ahead and did it anyway.

From the Guardian Article:

The genesis of Doctor Dee dates back at least two years. Alex Poots, the Manchester festival’s director, had approached the writer and graphic novelist Alan Moore with a view to involving him in a stage production, and Moore’s passionate interest in Dee led to a meeting with Albarn and Hewlett. Albarn had already begun to think about working on an unspecified “heartfelt English piece,” and learning about Dee’s story hardened his resolve – but Moore and Hewlett then dropped out, leaving Albarn in charge of the project.

Moore’s reasons for dropping the project can be heard in the video below the break, but Hewlett’s reasons seem to still be a mystery.
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Why Limitless is About Cyborgs and Magic

Limitless poster

So, UnknownBinaries & I recently saw Limitless. Now the film’s animating premise is an old one, and you hear it in nearly every piece of science fiction concerned with human enhancement: we only use ten or fifteen or [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][insert number] percent of our brain or brain power or potential…or whatever. The science behind this trope isn’t strictly correct, mind you, but it’s not completely false either. It’s hard to talk about the operations of the brain without falling into the heavily loaded language of “efficiency,” “carrying capacity,” “throughput,” “processing power,” etc. The problem with all of that talk is that it’s directly tied to the ideas of production and consumption, which are values that come directly out of the mass-production developments of the techno-industrial revolution–and I don’t just mean the musical style. What I’m saying is these words taint and colour everything we do and every way we talk nowadays, and the reason I bring this up is so we can try to talk about the brain.

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American Gods: The Motion Picture

American Gods

You know I was just talking the other day about the fact that Neil Gaiman has always said that he would only ever make an American Gods film if it was perfect. Well, according to the folks over at Paste Magazine, “perfect” has just gotten a little bit more attainable:

Many details are still unknown, but Gaiman says, “There is one cinematographer and director on board who has many, many Oscars and is, I think, a genius…I love the fact that he fell in love with this about six or seven years ago and has not given up and just kept coming back and coming back.”

Now, we’ve talked a great deal about how wonderful we think American Gods is and why we think that, and all of that still stands. But what’s best about this news is that it’s coming to light just a two and a half months before the release of the 10th Anniversary Edition, an edition which will have a new introduction, the Author’s Preferred Text (previously only available in the lushly bound and printed edition from the sadly now-defunct Hill House Publishers), and a “bonus scene.” In other words, a must-have, for any Gaiman fan. In even more other words, Perfect Timing.

Hopefully we’ll get more news, soon, in regards to who this epic Director is (I have my speculations), and hopefully some notes about casting. We’ll keep you updated as the information rolls in.
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Being Human in America: Episode Three Reviewed

So here we are. Third Episode. We can do this. Deep Breaths.


Okay! So, if you’re just tuning in, what I was doing here was watching the first three episodes of the American version of Being Human, and reviewing what I saw from as objective a place as possible for someone who’s seen and enjoyed the original British series. We can have a discussion about what I’ve learned about objectivity and fresh eyes later, but for now let’s talk about what we saw this week.

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