Needcoffee.com - Ten Years of Insomnia: 1998-2008!
Brawndo - Drink Review
Posted on 01.17.08 by Widge @ 10:10 pm
Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator

It's sort of hard to go wrong when reviewing a drink like Brawndo. First of all, it's a joke drink based on a film that hardly anyone watched. By extension, a drink that's hard to take seriously isn't really going to have a review that should be taken seriously. And second, when the "commercial" for the drink states that it tastes like copulating with a semi, well, it's set the drinker's expectations low enough where if it lives up to its claim, well, can you blame the reviewer for saying the advertising was true?

Of course, one would have to admit to knowing what making love to a semi truck would taste like in the first place in order to state that the comparison was accurate, but that's something we shan't think much on.

I was afraid that the drink would, in fact, taste as promised. Especially since it sports sucralose, which, if you've been reading this site for any length of time, you know I believe in all honesty is the seed of Satan. Anyway, the drink itself is greenish, and it tastes citrusy-limey and not actually unpleasant. The sucralose is there but the terrible aftertaste of the stuff is tempered enough that this is the first sucralose-sweetened energy drink I've actually finished. So that's pretty high praise. Most of them just get poured down the drain after two sips they're so damn nasty.
[[ Review concludes ]]

Categorized as: Drinks and Reviews
Comments: 4 Comments





Monkey Tea, Monkey Do
Posted on 01.10.08 by ScottC @ 10:48 am
Monkey drinking tea

Here at Needcoffee, we do not make any judgments on anyone else's caffeine delivery system. Widge's is primarily coffee while I drink a lot of Diet Coke. Of course we are on the lookout for new and novel ways to get that miracle molecule into our bodies. Well, Thinkgeek is now selling tea. Tea, you say, that's been around for centuries. Ah, but this tea has been hand picked (or paw picked) by monkeys.

Yes, this oolong tea is picked by monkeys trained by Chinese monks, so you know its chock full of fu. Of course, the package called it antioxidants but we know the truth. I would suggest picking up some now because Dindrane is talking about sending agents of the Glorious Revolution to help the monkeys form a union.

[[ More monkeyshines ]]

Categorized as: Drinks
Comments: None



Energy Drinks vs. Vitality Drinks and Guarana vs. Caffeine
Posted on 12.06.07 by Widge @ 11:21 pm
Guarana Antarctica, nummy Brazilian drink

So Packaged Facts says that energy drinks could blow past $9 billion in sales by 2011. It was originally $8.5 billion but then I called and reminded them they left my consumption out, so they revised it. Uncle Warren's consumption doesn't really count because Red Bull air drops him free kegs of the stuff. So.

Anyway, sales have gone up 440% from $1.2 billion in 2002 to $6.6 billion this year. So wowzers. You can find the full report here.

And while we're talking about energy drinks, Energy Fiend has a report on "vitality drinks" and how they're different from energy drinks. They mention this in the context of the wonderfully grey and black Marquis Platinum Vitality Drink, and apparently "It's a 'vitality' drink because it doesn’t have the usual formula of synthetic caffeine and High Fructose Corn Syrup." Ah, gotcha.

[[ Info continues... ]]

Categorized as: Drinks
Comments: None



Premium Cola: I Thought They Were an Anarcho-Syndicalist Commune...
Posted on 12.06.07 by Widge @ 6:28 am
Premium Cola

What is Premium Cola? It's a cola in Germany that split off from Afri-Cola, which had changed their recipe (presumably to "New Afri-Cola"), and these cola secessionists wanted the good old stuff (which Afri-Cola came back and did, presumably "Afri-Cola Classic"). And check this out, from The Consumerist:

There's no salaries, no office, and no bosses, per se. All decisions are made equally by members of the cola collective. The drink is only sold to select locations in accord with the Premium Cola ideologies.

As an aside. "The Cola Collective?" That sounds like Kool-Aid Man's version of the Legion of Doom, doesn't it?

That's not all, though. Get the full skinnee on them here.

And you thought 7UP was the un-cola.

Categorized as: Drinks
Comments: None



Scientists Discover Proto-Yoo-Hoos in Honduras
Posted on 11.14.07 by Widge @ 9:48 pm
Chocolate drink

Scientists have taken the date at which known chocolate drinks were being imbibed in Central America and pushed it back about 500 years. They apparently studied some pottery bits from around 1100 BCE...

Residue from the pots contained theobromine, which occurs in the cacao plant and is the source of chocolate, the researchers said in Monday's online edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Read the full article here.

Also published were findings that the discovery of Nutrasweet and Splenda doubtless caused the collapse of the Mayan civilization.

That last part might be awaiting...cough...peer review.

Image: Kakawa Chocolates.

(more...)

Categorized as: Drinks
Comments: None



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