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10.20.08 by Widge @ 8:20 pm  For those wondering, this drink has 200mg of caffeine, no high fructose corn syrup but only real sugar, guarana, yerba mate, horny goat weed in a proprietary blend known as "Slapping You Any Harder And Your Mum Would Feel ItTM." And with your help--one day I will actually have a huge media empire and I will make this drink a reality. In the meantime, you can go make your own here. Got a good one? Upload it someplace and stick a link in the comments. Make sure you list your ingredients. Do your own here--from the same people who brought you the cassette tape generator. Found via Neatorama. Update: Crap...well, it's apparently too popular and has been wreaking havoc on their webserver. Keep checking. Problems of abundance can usually be solved. Categorized as: Drinks
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10.12.08 by Widge @ 9:52 am  I joke on this site a lot about health, even though health is actually important to me. Since, you know, health is what's standing between me and the long, long dirt nap, I do have an appreciation for health. I do enjoy a lot of unhealthy things and I admittedly drink more energy drinks than I probably should. But I'm an adult, at least physically, and I know what I'm doing. Mostly. Still, when you get an energy drink that is courting people who want to sleep less and still stay healthy--a tough demographic seeing as how many would consider the two items to be mostly mutually exclusive--I do pay attention. That's the case with Function Drinks. On the label it goes to great lengths to separate itself from its energy drink brethren. "All Natural," it says at the top. "Created by Physicians." The label also says "Get up and keep going with the first time-release formula for long-lasting energy. The all-natural combo of catuaba, muira pauma, epimedium, and yerba mate provides stamina for 6 to 8 hours." In addition to those neat things, the proprietary blend on back lists caffeine and guarana extract as well. And sure enough, the sugar we're dealing with here is natural evaporated cane sugar instead of, you know, crap. Yerba mate, guarana and caffeine--all good things. Catuaba? Is used for aphrodisiacs? Interesting...what about muira pauma? Used to increase sexual desire and libido? Um. Okay...epimedium? It's another name for Horny Goat Weed? What exactly were these physicians doing while creating this, I wonder...? The flavor, for the record is "Tangerine-Yuzu." Which is not, also for the record, the demon from The Exorcist, although it has been mistaken for Pazuzu at parties. Categorized as: Drinks and Reviews
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10.05.08 by Widge @ 12:11 am So Dan Aykroyd believes in a lot of whacky stuff. Which is cool for him. But now we wants to take spirituals and spirits and combine them. But that's okay, because this eight minute presentation about new Crystal Head Vodka is still better--and more believable--than the fourth Indiana Jones movie. Direct link for the feedreaders. Found by Ken at the Lair of the North American Hodgman who wonders if it can possibly be real. I would say yes as well, however if so why doesn't the site have any information about where to purchase? Regardless, compare and contrast this vid with this classic vid. Show your work. Categorized as: Drinks
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09.26.08 by Widge @ 4:16 am  The journal Drug and Alcohol Dependence this month will contain a study, "Caffeinated Energy Drinks -- A growing problem," which expresses some serious concern and a lot of hoopla about caffeinated energy drinks. Some of their findings aren't nonsense. For example, the idea that the labels should inform the consumer how much caffeine they're about to ingest is a good idea. The idea that the labels should tell consumers to "not be a fucking idiot and drink more of this than you can handle" (my proposed label language) is also a good idea. Because otherwise you can get caffeine intoxication. Caffeine intoxication, a recognized clinical syndrome included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders and the World Health Organization's International Classification of Diseases, is marked by nervousness, anxiety, restlessness, insomnia, gastrointestinal upset, tremors, rapid heartbeats (tachycardia), psychomotor agitation (restlessness and pacing) and in rare cases, death.
Death is bad. So are tremors, because that means if you move around on the ground the giant worms will find you and kill your ass. Or maybe that's the DTs. Categorized as: Drinks
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09.02.08 by Widge @ 2:11 pm  Those of you who enjoy walking up to a soda fountain in a convenience store and creating your own Frankendrink comprised of a little of this and a little of that--prepare for your heads to explode. Coke is doing what amounts to alpha-testing this summer--and will beta test the first part of next year--fountains that have a hundred drink choices in them. "The new dispenser works by using highly-concentrated ingredient packs that are about as easy to change as print cartridges." Basically this will allow for Coke to have every single damn drink they sell in one machine, from Zero Coke drinks to Fanta to regular unleaded Coke, and leave room for energy drinks and a slew of other possibilities. If Coke were smart, they would give one to me to test, because if I can't break the thing, you know it's golden. And perhaps you've already considered this--and perhaps your mind is still reeling from the possibilities of this new device--but am I the only one who wants to knock back a "highly-concentrated ingredient pack" to see what happens? Categorized as: Drinks
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