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08.08.08 by Widge @ 4:45 am  Could this be the world's first energy drink inspired directly by porn? I don't know. But yes, for those who missed ScottC's introductory 101 lecture on naughtiness last fall, Deep Throat was and is a 1972 porn film starring Linda Lovelace and is probably one of the most (or at least admitted to by most) widely known porn titles in pop culture, even if the folks don't know the plot. Or won't admit to knowing it. You know what I mean. But yes, apparently for last year's 35th anniversary of the film's release, an energy drink was born. Let's get to the taste first, then we can investigate the thrust of the product. Well. You know what I mean. The taste is nothing spectacular. It's very similar to Red Bull. But a bit milder and a bit smoother. As far as the energy bit goes, it's about average there as well. The caffeine content isn't listed on the can, although it does involve guarana extract as well. Bear in mind that this is me who's writing this review, so it does take a bit of a bazooka blast of caffeine at times to get me to notice anything. That's not to say that this is a negative review--not in the least. It was actually pretty pleasant to drink. But it's certainly not innovative--but sometimes you just want a known quantity. Especially if you've been trying around and all the innovations keep fizzling out. Categorized as: Drinks and Reviews
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08.02.08 by Widge @ 4:02 am  So when I heard that Dr. Pepper was going to get into the energy drink arena, I thought I should give these things a try. I was sent a sample of both the Black Mamba and the Mojave Rattler variations. Basically, as I understand it, the Black Mamba comes with half sugar and glucose and then half is the dreaded sucralose, then you have Mojave Rattler, which is just glucose and sucralose. The bottles are pretty cool, although they can mislead: I thought for some reason that the Mojave Rattler, being purple, was grape-flavored. For all I know it is grape-flavored, just overpowered by the sucralose, but we'll get to that in a minute. The bottles are aluminum and feel sturdier than the larger resealable bottle/can/battery that Jolt comes in. And as result, when they are cold they are nice and cold. Beyond that, we go straight into the taste. And I will give Dr. Pepper this: the Black Mamba, as much as I hate sucralose, is tolerable. When I unscrewed the top off I could just smell the fake sugar. And it's not like I had my nose up to the bottle. It just, boom, was loose and in the air around me. And I'm not kidding. So I was worried this was all about to go south. What happens is that it's got a rough taste to it, which reminds me a bit of Cocaine Energy Drink (but without the burn), then the sucralose kicks in, but just before it's about to overwhelm you and make you saw off your own tongue with a butter knife lest that taste linger--the real sugar seems to kick in and return you to sane sweetness. I drank a big gulp to begin with and my eyes watered afterwards. I was able to drink this and actually finish the bottle, which is a testament to its taste. If you actually can stand sucralose on its own, then you'll dig the hell out of this. Categorized as: Drinks and Reviews
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08.02.08 by Widge @ 2:06 am This is actually pretty ingenious: hacking a Pepsi bottle to hide valuables inside it: since Pepsi tastes like stale Coke, nobody would dream of ever pulling that bottle out of the fridge. Categorized as: Drinks
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07.31.08 by Widge @ 5:23 am  There's a problem when it comes to reviewing caffeinated water. Not a problem with the water, mind you, but just a problem reviewing it. Because it's not going to be a very long review. The questions are 1) does it caffeinate and B) does it taste like water? Okay, so...yes and yes! Thank you, Detroit! Good night! Oh hell, you're still here. Fine, I'll expound. There's a problem when shoving caffeine into things. Because caffeine has a taste. And speaking from the point of view of someone who has tasted more than most small nation-states have--it's not a pleasant taste. Granted, when it's four in the morning and you still have four more hours of driving, you don't really care. And that's how you can convince yourself to eat an XTZ 250mg-packed monstro-choco-mint. So you have to find the right balance of taste and caffeine. And here, Fyxx has set themselves up because the bloody bottle says quite clearly: TASTES LIKE WATER. And it does. They've managed to take 110mg of caffeine and get the right sort of spring water where you taste spring water and not caffeine. 110mg of caffeine in 20 ounces of water. Not too shabby. Now that's not to say there's no taste at all, but it's like how most water comes with some taste in there. It's certainly not off-putting and it's certainly not the taste of caffeine. So that's what really matters. And with that much caffeine, it will be enough to buzz most people and was enough to at least prop my eyelids open a bit--which for me is saying something. If you're looking for caffeinated water and you don't want to make it yourself or you just need a grab and go solution then Fyxx will do you up properly. They're right in that sometimes you just don't want all of the sugar and high fructose stuff that comes with a lot of energy drinks--and when that's the case, Fyxx will fill the gap. Categorized as: Drinks and Reviews
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07.15.08 by Widge @ 2:12 pm  The FDA has decided that high fructose corn syrup can be considered natural. This decision was "welcomed" by the Corn Refiners Association for all of two minutes, before they returned to making corn for fuel. Now, in all seriousness, I don't pretend to understand whether or not this is accurate. I barely made it past chemistry and I have a degree in English, which means I'm qualified to spell "high fructose corn syrup" and run a website. And flip burgers. Also, I understand that this is the FDA, a part of the U.S. Government, the same people who brought you the TSA and the IRS. I'm not one of these delusional people who expect quality from a different aspect of the government. To me that's like saying, "Well, you know, if I enter Krystal through the west door then the burgers are magically healthier!" Anyway, I digress. There's nothing really new under the sun--smart people read the labels for things no matter how "Natural" it looks and less clever people take labels at their word. So the fact that high fructose corn syrup products, actually natural or not, can now call themselves "natural" really doesn't affect you or me. I mean, Phantom Menace said it was a Star Wars film on the label, and it's far worse for you than Coke. Categorized as: Drinks
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