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01.07.08 by Widge @ 3:53 am  So originally I scoffed at the idea that Sanrio is targeting their Hello Kitty products to young men now. And not to sound like a sexist bastard, but come on, Hello Kitty is quite possibly the most girly-girl thing in the world. Even young boys who make no differentiation between Barbies and G.I. Joes (not dolls, but action figures...right) would fork the sign of the evil eye if you placed a Hello Kitty doll in front of them. Hello Kitty is so freaking pink that even Mary Kay herself would rise from the grave to say, "You really need to tone that down a bit." Our own Rox of Spazhouse polled her young male relatives about Hello Kitty for boys and found the answer to be not just no, but "Hell no and BTW what were you thinking?" That being said, although I would never walk around with this as either a handbag or a manbag (or whatever you want to call it--although the "manbag" has always sounded too much like a piece of the male anatomy for me to take it seriously as a term), the creators of this bootleg gear get points for mashing up Hello Kitty with Sin City. They came damn close to getting my interest, but sorry, still no cigar. Guys, help me out here: have you been dying for official Hello Kitty gear that's designed with you in mind? Categorized as: Gear
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12.20.07 by Widge @ 6:45 am  You'll forgive me if I'm a bit gabberflasted by this: Voltron shoes. And not just Voltron shoes like those cartoon-themed shoes you'd wear back in the 80s, these are full-on shoes with $80 to $135 price tags and such. And if there was any doubt the aging-geeks-with-money demographic wasn't being targeted here, they each come with an action figure that, when you buy all five pairs of shoes, you can make into a Voltron. For the full pic, click here. Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the milkman...I was stunned enough by the cheesy Voltron camera, but this takes the cake. Can we at least get some Prince Lotor shoes or something, just for some balance? Those can be the cheap $15 flip flops. But come on, something. And is anybody not thinking of this? Didn't think so. Categorized as: Gear
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12.17.07 by Widge @ 8:03 am  This is pretty ri-goddamn-diculous: Update: Alas, it's no longer on their website. However, Amazon apparently has one for sale from one of their Used and New folks. Here's what they have to say for themselves: Reproduced with full light effects and adjustable power settings, the Flux Capacitor replica recreates the 1.21 jigowatt-controlling heart of the De Lorean time machine. Measuring over 16-inches tall x 12-inches wide, each replica features hand-numbering with a matching box, certificate of authenticity and care instructions! ETA for these things is May of next year. And yes, they are $275 smackers. But you can expect them to be mounted in geek cars all across the world as soon as they hit. P.S. If you are crazy enough to order one of these things, A) we salute you for having more money than us and 2) do it Categorized as: Gear
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12.12.07 by Widge @ 12:02 am  One day, Skynet will rise. We know this. You know this. However, there might be a bit of time in there, right at the start, before the whole thing goes to hell. In the event that you can get into that early Skynet server room, you're going to want this jacket. Turn around, draw the hood tight, and remember: don't move any faster than two inches a second. Categorized as: Gear
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12.01.07 by Widge @ 7:01 pm This Korean toilet, the Woongjin Looloo BA01 is pretty scary, but the Toto Neorest is also frightening. It uses the word "oscillating" alongside one's nether regions (which can be disturbing in certain contexts, for example: a toilet) and has a wireless control panel. I guess that's so you can enjoy the range of the water sprayer things. Think for a moment all the terrible things you would have done with this thing as a kid. Just for a moment, though. Let's not get crazy. Direct link for the feedreaders. Update: It's Toilet Night! No, just found another post from Pink Tentacle that fit this theme right after this one, so let's slam it, shall we? Categorized as: Gear
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11.02.07 by Widge @ 8:18 am  Is anybody else on that list? You know: the mailing list where you get an endless wave of tacky, tacky catalogues filled with crap that, no matter how hard you soul search, you can't figure out what you bought that triggered your inclusion? Yeah. I'm on that list. At least the catalogues can be entertaining. Take a look at this quilt that you can get personalized for your grandmother. It says "Grandma, whenever you touch this heart, you'll know that we love you." And inside the heart you can put names, presumably names of the grandchildren. Now that might sound sweet. It might sound warm, even, and inviting. Like it's exactly the sort of thing you might want your grandmother to have across the back of her sofa. But not so fast. Sure, it starts off innocently enough: she touches the heart, she knows you love her. But soon enough, when she's not touching the heart, what will she think? She'll find herself carrying the quilt about the house, ensuring that she's got at least a finger on the heart, because the quilt says that what she has to do to know for certain that you love her. Taking it to bed, taking it into the shower, taking it everywhere lest she doubt for a moment your love. So is that what you want for your grandmother? Is it? To be a quilted heart junkie? You heartless bastards. Categorized as: Gear
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10.31.07 by Widge @ 12:29 pm That's right, folks. If you're going up against some serious zombie hordes, your ordinary chainsaw might not do the trick. If that's the case, then why not hook one up to a V8 engine? I mean, just make sure you've got a friend to help you carry the damn thing... Categorized as: Gear
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09.30.07 by Widge @ 7:37 pm
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08.07.07 by Widge @ 2:23 pm  Chazzie-award winner Neil Gaiman, known around here simply as "The Neil," has a movie based on his stuff coming out this weekend. Yes, Stardust opens with a big name cast, big special effects, and the hopes and dreams of millions riding on the notion that Hollywood might manage not to fuck up a Gaiman adaptation. Ahem. No pressure*. Anyway, Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab (who we've talked about before) is not only an incredible name for a band but also makes "Stardust" and "Good Omens" fragrances. (Good Omens? By Jove, that sounds familiar...!) So anyway, they've got five Stardust fragrances, with names like "Fairy Market" and "Yvaine," and the proceeds go to the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund. If you buy the Good Omens fragrances, you not only help the CBLDF but also orangutans. And for the record, these orangutans have nothing to do with comic books to our knowledge and to imply that they wrote Identity Crisis would be an insult to orangutans everywhere. So. For the full press release, click after the break. For their website, click here. *--I mean seriously, have you read any of the Sandman movie scripts? You haven't? Good. Don't. One took five months off my life. And not the end of my life, either. I'm talking five months from the middle of 1982. Flat gone. Categorized as: Gear
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08.03.07 by Widge @ 12:20 am  While ScottC presented this as a way to dress your kid up as a baby Cthulhu, unfortunately they only come in pink and blue. Surely there would be a way to dye the thing a dark, brackish green, yes? If so, then you would truly have a Great Young One on your hands. Then you hand the kid a baby bottle that says SOULS on the outside. See? Instant costume to disturb your in-laws with. I would like to go ahead and say this now: if you have a kid and you dress him (or her!) as something twisted, I want pictures. Send them and I'll post them as part of our usual Halloween mayhem. Categorized as: Gear
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