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12.01.07 by Widge @ 7:01 pm This Korean toilet is pretty scary, but the Toto Neorest is also frightening. It uses the word "oscillating" alongside one's nether regions (which can be disturbing in certain contexts, for example: a toilet) and has a wireless control panel. I guess that's so you can enjoy the range of the water sprayer things. Think for a moment all the terrible things you would have done with this thing as a kid. Just for a moment, though. Let's not get crazy. Direct link for the feedreaders. Update: It's Toilet Night! No, just found another post from Pink Tentacle that fit this theme right after this one, so let's slam it, shall we? Categorized as: Gear
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11.20.07 by Widge @ 7:18 am  For those of you who think Fire in the Sky is a documentary, you might be a bit concerned about how to get back home after you've been abducted by big-eyed extraterrestrials. The Location Earth Dog Tag is supposed to help you get over that, sporting info on how the aliens can drop you back on Earth: Engraved with several methods of locating Earth in the Galaxy, an alien pilot does not need to understand any human language to use this information. The mathematical location of Earth in relation to several important pulsars is represented by the radial diagram. Now, first of all, the radial diagram looks to me like a high level on Missile Command, so I dunno about that. And second of all, if you do get snatched, and you find yourself in the clutches of the Horde or the Brood, you keep that goddamn thing under your shirt, you hear? Take one for the team. Categorized as: Gear
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11.02.07 by Widge @ 8:18 am  Is anybody else on that list? You know: the mailing list where you get an endless wave of tacky, tacky catalogues filled with crap that, no matter how hard you soul search, you can't figure out what you bought that triggered your inclusion? Yeah. I'm on that list. At least the catalogues can be entertaining. Take a look at this quilt that you can get personalized for your grandmother. It says "Grandma, whenever you touch this heart, you'll know that we love you." And inside the heart you can put names, presumably names of the grandchildren. Now that might sound sweet. It might sound warm, even, and inviting. Like it's exactly the sort of thing you might want your grandmother to have across the back of her sofa. But not so fast. Sure, it starts off innocently enough: she touches the heart, she knows you love her. But soon enough, when she's not touching the heart, what will she think? She'll find herself carrying the quilt about the house, ensuring that she's got at least a finger on the heart, because the quilt says that what she has to do to know for certain that you love her. Taking it to bed, taking it into the shower, taking it everywhere lest she doubt for a moment your love. So is that what you want for your grandmother? Is it? To be a quilted heart junkie? You heartless bastards. Categorized as: Gear
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10.31.07 by Widge @ 12:29 pm That's right, folks. If you're going up against some serious zombie hordes, your ordinary chainsaw might not do the trick. If that's the case, then why not hook one up to a V8 engine? I mean, just make sure you've got a friend to help you carry the damn thing... Categorized as: Gear
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