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06.11.01 by Widge @ 5:25 am  Film: Written by: Patrick Massett, Simon West & John Zinman, based on a story by Michael Colleary & Mike Werb, based on the video game published by Eidos Interactive My Advice: Wait for MST3K Lara Croft (Jolie) is a badass. She whomps killer robots, she wields handguns from hell like nobody's business, and she has huge.......tracts of land. She's essentially Indiana Jones' lost sister. But her past comes back to haunt her, as clues her father (Jolie's real life father, Voight) left for her to find come to light. You see, there's a shadowy group of conspirators who have been waiting five thousand years for a conjunction of all nine planets as well as a solar eclipse. It's at this time that an ancient device can be found and used for good...or EVIL. Moohoohahaha. Categorized as: Movies and Reviews
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06.07.01 by Widge @ 11:32 pm 
Written by: Skip Woods My Advice: Matinee. Gabriel (Travolta) is a man with a mission. Suffice to say that mission involves a lot of guns, cigars, high speed chases, and Halle Berry topless. But of course, those are the elements of all good missions. Anyway, the one thing this mission is lacking is a world-class hacker. Gabriel finds one in Stanley (Jackman), a burnt-out computer cowboy with an ex-wife and a daughter living in stepfatherly hell. Gabriel has something up his sleeve you see, and it involves a lot of money and an intricate plan to get at it. Hot on the trail of everybody is Agent Roberts (Cheadle). And of course, Vinnie Jones is quickly becoming the Danny Trejo of the next millennium. Categorized as: Movies and Reviews
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05.14.01 by Widge @ 3:55 pm 
Written by: Ted Elliott, Terry Rossio, Roger S.H. Schulman & Joe Stillman, based on the book by William Steig My Advice: Matinee Shrek (voiced by Myers) is an ogre who lives a pretty good life. He has his own swamp to live in, mud to wash himself with, and villagers to terrify. Farquaad (voiced by Lithgow) is lord of the nearby lands, and wants to create the perfect realm for himself. In order to do so, he forces all of the fairytale creatures out, relocating them right onto Shrek's doorstep. Now all Farquaad needs is a bride, and guess who shows up in time to strike a deal to get him one? Categorized as: Movies and Reviews
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08.05.00 by Widge @ 1:17 pm 
Written by: Andrew W. Marlowe, story by Andrew W. Marlowe & Gary Scott Thompson My Advice: Rental. Sebastian Caine (Bacon) is an asshole. You can tell this because when characters are named Sebastian they undoubtedly are assholes. He works with his ex, Linda (Shue), and her clandestine new lover, Matt (Brolin). They've been experimenting with phase shifting animals out of the visible universe...kind of like a H.G. Wells' Doctor Dolittle kind of thing. Caine is so sure of himself that he's ready to try the process out on himself, just like any ethical mad scientist would do. But...is he ready to face the consequences of this decision? And more importantly...are the supporting characters? And even more importantly, should you subject yourself to such a film? Categorized as: Movies and Reviews
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07.17.00 by Widge @ 11:52 pm 
Directed by Bryan Singer My Advice: Don't miss it. There's a war brewing, and the lines are being drawn. Mankind is evolving to the next step, and that step happens to be "mutants," people with superhuman abilities. Trouble is, mankind isn't too keen on their brethren being able to do these neato things, and the general populace becomes afraid and belligerent, as they are wont to do. Among the mutants, there are two factions. Professor Charles Xavier (Stewart) believes in getting past the ignorance of humanity and preaches tolerance. Erik Lensherr, also known as Magneto (McKellen), thinks Xavier is suffering from a major delusion and that humanity and tolerance are mutually exclusive. Categorized as: Movies and Reviews
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