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08.03.05 by Siege @ 12:06 am  Written by: W.D. Richter Review: Let's throw realism to the wind and get beaten to death by cinematography! As taken as I am by mass amounts of explosions (see War of the Worlds), it's hard to overlook vacant acting. Hard, but not impossible. BOOM! Moohoohahaha! Wait, what was I saying? Oh, yeah...why does the plane look like a giant horseshoe crab? Time: 15 seconds. Categorized as: Movies and Reviews
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07.31.05 by Widge @ 4:53 pm  Written by: Caspian Treadwell-Owen Review: Losing your virginity should be a special occasion. Especially if you're losing it to Scarlett Johansson. Only trouble is, Ewan McGregor's character is, for all intents and purposes, three years old. Man, life's a bitch, ain't it? Anyway, this movie has basically the same plot as this one that I first saw on MST3K all those years ago. But it also has kickass explosions, rocket bikes, and the bastard child of Cadillac and Lamborghini. It's far from MST3K-worthy, actually not a bad film, but don't expect the best. Time: 23 seconds. Categorized as: Movies and Reviews
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07.09.05 by Siege @ 2:03 am  Written by: Michael France and Mark Frost, based on the characters created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby Review: Any movie based on a Marvel comic is a flip of the coin. This is the one that bounces off your shoe and rolls into the gutter, and later turns up tails. It certainly wasn't the "so good it makes you want to punch a nun" side, but it wasn't entirely the "don't go near it without a rabies shot" side. It was mostly bad, but the effects kick it up a little. Might want to get the rabies shot anyway though. Never can be too careful. Time: 18 seconds Categorized as: Movies and Reviews
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07.02.05 by Siege @ 12:00 am  Written by: Joseph Friedman & David Koepp, based on the novel by H.G. Wells Review: Spielberg brought us a walking scrotum that heals with a touch, some human abductors who play the trombone, and communication through mashed potatoes. Honestly, for all I know this movie might have sucked horribly, I didn't notice. Because of all that goes BOOM! Hahaha! BOOM! Just like that! Go see what it truly means to rip them a new asshole! Hahahahaha! BOOM! Time: 18 seconds (more or less...my stopwatch went BOOM! Mahahaha!) Categorized as: Movies and Reviews
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06.29.05 by Siege @ 11:03 pm  Written & Directed by: George Romero Review: Wow. A modern Zombie movie, that didn't hail from Britain...and it didn't suck balls! I'm stunned. Romero held true to his previous works, and our fears were laid to rest. Now we get to start fearing the fifth movie. This one's worth seeing just for Pillsbury. You'll understand when you see it, just trust me. Time: 13 seconds Categorized as: Movies and Reviews
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