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07.02.05 by Siege @ 12:00 am  Written by: Joseph Friedman & David Koepp, based on the novel by H.G. Wells Review: Spielberg brought us a walking scrotum that heals with a touch, some human abductors who play the trombone, and communication through mashed potatoes. Honestly, for all I know this movie might have sucked horribly, I didn't notice. Because of all that goes BOOM! Hahaha! BOOM! Just like that! Go see what it truly means to rip them a new asshole! Hahahahaha! BOOM! Time: 18 seconds (more or less...my stopwatch went BOOM! Mahahaha!) Categorized as: Movies and Reviews
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06.29.05 by Siege @ 11:03 pm  Written & Directed by: George Romero Review: Wow. A modern Zombie movie, that didn't hail from Britain...and it didn't suck balls! I'm stunned. Romero held true to his previous works, and our fears were laid to rest. Now we get to start fearing the fifth movie. This one's worth seeing just for Pillsbury. You'll understand when you see it, just trust me. Time: 13 seconds Categorized as: Movies and Reviews
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06.26.05 by Siege @ 10:52 pm  Written by: David S. Goyer & Christopher Nolan, based on a story by Goyer, which was in turn based on the character created by Bob Kane Review: We were all cautious about a new Batman movie, because its predecessors were below utter and complete crap (are you thinking bat-nipples? of course you are). But hey, I liked this one. They did a good job going dark, and I don't care what any traditionalist says, the new Batmobile kicks jolly amounts of ass over the old one. Time: 14 seconds Categorized as: Movies and Reviews
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06.24.05 by Widge @ 9:51 pm 
Written & Directed by George A. Romero My Advice: Solid matinee. Time has passed since the zombie outbreak began. What humans remain have walled and fenced in cities and hired folks with lots of guns to keep them safe. In one city, Fiddler's Green is the luxury highrise that sits at the center, overseen by Kaufman (Hopper). He controls and pays for everything, including the squads who go out into the smaller towns for supply raids. However, there's unrest in the streets, as those who aren't in Kaufman's favor are pissed at being fed table scraps. Also, the undead are getting pissed off as well... Okay, time for some history. Twenty years ago, Day of the Dead hit. It was 1985. Romero threatened a fourth movie: Twilight of the Dead. I held out hope, even after hearing about rights issues and budget issues...even when Romero was unable to get distribution for Bruiser. When I first started at Corona's Coming Attractions, that magnificent (and now very dead) website, this was the first movie page I ever drafted. So basically, I have been waiting...patiently...for twenty fucking years for this movie. And thanks to the efforts of those glorious Brits behind 28 Days Later and Shaun of the Dead, making zombie movies is profitable again. And here we are. Categorized as: Movies and Reviews
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06.14.05 by Widge @ 3:36 am 
Written by Tsang Kan Cheong, Stephen Chow, Xin Huo, Chan Man Keung My Advice: I'll tell you as soon as I stop laughing. It's Shanghai in the 1940s and gangs are running amok. One of the baddest of the badass gangs is the Axe Gang. Led by the desperately in need of dental work Brother Sum (Chan), they are more army than gang. Not only will they kill your ass as soon as they look at you, but they will get their groove thing on as well. No, I'm serious. The poor sections of town have no problems with gangs, because they're just below radar. That all changes when Sing (Chow) and friend (Chi Chung Lam) stumble into Pig Sty Alley and try to scam a haircut...badly. They bring the wrath of the Axe Gang to the neighborhood, and the results aren't what anyone would necessarily expect. Categorized as: Movies and Reviews
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