Constantine: Fear, Loathing and Leaked Pilots

Constantine

So, the pilot for Constantine–NBC’s live-action adaption of DC Comics’ HellBlazerleaked to the internet, as was bound to happen, and it is…certainly a pilot. The bad notes aren’t insurmountable, and the good will hopefully be built-upon, because the sooner they recognise and correct their issues as well as reinforce their strengths, the better off we’ll all be.

Story starts with John Constantine having checked himself into Ravenscar Sanitarium after having caused the gruesome death of a young girl named Astra. He’s ranting and railing at the head psych there, talking about a girl’s soul being damned to Hell and dragged off by a demon. And so of course the lead doctor tells him “There’s no such thing as demons!” Our John’s reply?

“So you keep telling me. Now make me believe it!”

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By | 2017-09-24T22:26:25+00:00 July 3rd, 2014|Stimuli|0 Comments

Isabella Rossellini Is One Hot Mamma

Mammas - Toad

Isabella Rossellini - Large and In Charge

It was bound to happen. Isabella Rossellini, making so many web series about animal sex, has finally made a web series about the consequences of all that animal shagging: getting pregnant and having babies. As the Sundance Channel website describes the series:

Featuring fantastical costumes and weirdly delightful enactments, the actress writes, directs and slips into the role of animal mothers, examining the different ways their maternal instinct is put into action in nature.

A lot of people are going to think Mammas is boring, especially compared to the kinky depraved variety of animal sexuality featured in her previous series. But those people just don’t know Isabella. She amuses, surprises, and even shocks, but never disappoints. With her characteristic whimsy, she depicts acts of deceit, child abandonment, cannibalism–and more–all in the name of the children.

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By | 2017-09-24T22:26:29+00:00 May 9th, 2014|Stimuli|0 Comments

Coffee, Your Best Friend When it Comes to Project Crunch Time

Charybdis Crab

Greetings, programs. I’ve been meaning to get an update posted but something has been kicking my arse. More on that in a moment.

First up, unfortunately I believe the Captain America: Winter Soldier Wayhomer that I did shoot is unusable. As testament to why I need a different car mount (see my Thor: Dark World review for that fun), the damn thing fell and, while I tried to carry on as best I could, between that and the parking garage I was trying to find my way out of, I was thrown–and the result is neither entertaining nor informative. I may eventually do something with the footage or may be able to work it into a cohesive review, but that will take time. We’ll see. Sorry about that. But I hope to have some news on the Wayhomer front in general shortly.

Secondly, updates have been few and far between because I’ve been head down working on a secret project that, unfortunately, I can’t really say much about at the moment. However, I do like Uncle Warren’s penchant for at least giving such things a code name (“You hear that? We usin’ code names”) so they can be discussed without referring to them as “That Thing” or “You Know, That Thing” or some such. So I’ve decided to call this Project Charybdis, simply because that word is a lot of fun to say. I will divulge all at my first opportunity. But right now, I’m on deadline, so forgive me if it’s somewhat quiet here for a little bit.

Thirdly, that crab is of the charybdis genus and I needed an image for this post. And you’d think for a monster/whirlpool from mythology, there’d be a lot more post-friendly images out there of the proper noun Charybdis. And that, my friends, is a textbook example of a Geek World Problem.

By | 2017-09-24T22:26:30+00:00 April 22nd, 2014|Stimuli|0 Comments

Crisis on Infinite Cards

Comic Book Cards Against Humanity

Cards Against Humanity with the added send-you-to-hell goodness of Crabs Adjust Humidity

So like many of you, we enjoy playing Cards Against Humanity. It’s horrible, it’s wrong, it’s like Mad Libs reworked by Eli Roth, and it’s terrific fun to watch two generations of a family playing it. (Trust me. Hee-larious.) We have all the expansion packs as well. We even bought the unofficial, unauthorized, uninterested-in-paying-for-your-therapy Crabs Adjust Humidity expansion sets.

Like many of you as well, we can’t help but think of our own cards (and, indeed, blank cards are provided for you to vent your unholy misbegotten spleen upon). I started thinking along the lines of a common theme–comic books, mostly of the Big Two/spandex variety–and once I got started, I couldn’t stop. I’m very sorry. But here’s the result. Feel free to use where and how you see fit.

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By | 2017-09-24T22:26:32+00:00 March 28th, 2014|Stimuli|4 Comments

Who’s Robert Redford in “Winter Soldier”? The Sundance Kid. No, Really.

Robert Redford as Alexander Pierce and Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury in Captain America: The Winter Soldier

When the Captain America: The Winter Soldier trailer first hit, one of the weirdest things for me was watching Robert Redford and Nick Fury shake hands. And everybody was talking about The Sundance Kid (Redford’s classic role alongside Paul Newman–kids, ask your parents) being in the cast of the film. But it struck me: I wonder if that could literally be the case?

In life as in the film (and sorry about spoilers, but Jesus, it’s historical and the film’s been out since 1969), Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid were both likely killed by the Bolivian Army in 1908. But there’s been loads of speculation as to whether or not they actually died there. There’s more than one theory out there about one or both of them surviving. (See the film Blackthorn for a fairly badass “Butch survived” setup.)

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By | 2017-09-24T22:26:32+00:00 March 26th, 2014|Stimuli|0 Comments

A Valentine’s Day Lesson in Flirting

Idris Elba posing for Graham Norton

Sometimes you need a relationship intervention via text. And there’s few better people to facilitate this than Lena Dunham (HBO’s Girls) and Idris Elba, while on a recent episode of Graham Norton‘s show from across the pond. I honestly think they need to spin this off into its own show: Graham nabs phones from the audience and a random panel of guests “assists” the phone owner. I would watch the hell out of that. Happy Valentine’s Day, you horde of lunatics.

Thanks to Rob for the headsup.

By | 2017-09-24T22:26:36+00:00 February 14th, 2014|Stimuli|0 Comments

In Remembrance of Harold Sunshine

Harold Sunshine

In remembrance of our behind the scene supporter (really, he kept me on top of watching all the shows I reported on and movies–in fact he would ask if I had my recommendations and topics for podcast night), we repost my reading of “Casey at the Bat.” He was a major baseball fan and also taught literature and the humanities, so I went to him for help with the poem’s cadence and inflections when I recorded this for National Poetry Month. In addition, he knew the importance of Need Coffee and DragonCon to me. He was a veritable Charlie from Charlie’s Angels.

Harold Sunshine
February 3, 1935 – October 29, 2013

[audio:http://www.podtrac.com/pts/redirect.mp3/www.needcoffee.com/podcasts/casey-bat.mp3]
By | 2017-09-24T22:26:37+00:00 February 1st, 2014|Stimuli|2 Comments

I Lost My First Doctor, or The 11th Doctor is Dead and I Don’t Feel So Good Myself

Forewarning: The following is a rambling overview of one fledgling Whovian’s reaction to the Eleventh Doctor and his televised adventures. If such a thing does not interest you, I offer this TL/DR five-words-and-a-pregnant-pause synopsis: “Yeah, that was…pretty good.” If such a thing does interest you, bear in mind: if you have not seen the entirety of Matt Smith’s run, then you face spoilers.

Doctor Who: Matt Smith goodbye to the bowtie

I did not, like many of my compatriots on this site, grow up with Doctor Who. My first exposure to it was actually one issue of the Marvel/Tom Baker series which made no damn sense to me whatsoever (looking for the image just now, I see it was actually issue #1–I really should find a copy and re-read it…see if I understand it now). And as time went on, I continued to look at Who from the outside like something impenetrable–you would have to already be on board the train to understand what the hell was going on. Unlike, say, X-Men comics, about which even people who have been on board for decades have no idea what the hell is going on.

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By | 2017-09-24T22:26:39+00:00 January 8th, 2014|Stimuli|4 Comments