One of the things that our Movies Reviews Lab prides itself on is the fact that we don't belabor the point. We don't spend 500 words synopsizing the film all over again for you. We get in, we get out, we get over it. Because we know you've got better things to do than slog through a lengthy review.

Sometimes, though, even that's not fast enough. So we wanted to see if we could do better. And the answer is: yes, have some. To say these reviews last 27 seconds is generous. Most of them won't break 10. But if you need a truly capsule review, you've got it, baby.