Arsenic and Old Lace

To learn more about this, we suggest checking out the DVD of the original, available here. Or if you just want the original play, that's here.

DreamCast:

Mortimer Brewster Tom Hanks
Jonathan Brewster Jeremy Irons
Dr. Einstein Billy Crystal
Abby Brewster Joan Plowright
Martha Brewster Maggie Smith
Teddy Brewster Nathan Lane
Elaine Harper Sarah Jessica Parker
Officer O'Hara Colm Meaney
Mr. Witherspoon William Sadler
Lt. Rooney Paul Guilfoyle

Why Arsenic and Old Lace? Well, this one is near and dear to my heart, because I was Officer O'Hara in one stage production, and Mortimer in another. The latter went defunct because of a movie that was shooting nearby, but that's another story altogether.  I look at it this way: You have a play with a bunch of really great kooky characters in it, and it's just screaming to put a top notch cast into it. It was originally done in 1944 with Cary Grant in the role of Mortimer, and then apparently again in 1969 for television, although I don't know too much about that one. Anyway, if you haven't seen the version with Grant, I assume it's available on
video, go snag it. You're in for a good time.

Everything else is being redone, even King Kong, for God's sake. Let's do this, shall we?

Mortimer Brewster: When was the last time Hanks had a comic role? Not that he's not a superb dramatic actor, don't get me wrong, but this would make a great return for him. He gets to be the only sane person in a house and family full of complete whackos. Like I said, get the version with Grant in it, and see if you don't agree. I can just see Hanks now: "There's a body in the window seat!"  Good clean fun, Tom.  You can win another Oscar next week.

Jonathan Brewster: No contest. Irons wins hands down. Here's why, and it's more than just the fact that Irons would make a great comic villain. He certainly needs a break from the whacko roles he normally plays. Hey, Jeremy--try this whacko role! Hee hee. Anyway, as you may or may not know, Jonathan has undergone a buttload of plastic surgery on his face,  because he's a wanted man and trying to avoid arrest. His latest face was done by Dr. Einstein while the good doctor was intoxicated, so Jonathan looks like Boris Karloff, and everyone in the play keeps telling him so, which really, really pisses him off. Now what's great is that in the stage version, Boris Karloff originated the role of Jonathan! Talk about an inside joke. Anyway, Irons is compared to Karloff all the time, so it would work wonderfully.  And whoever does the film will not change the line to say he looks just like Irons.  Stick to the script, guys.

Dr. Einstein: Crystal is amazing.  Can you believe this guy's range?  Anyway, Bill--follow in Lorre's footsteps--you can do it!  Slick your hair back, put on some round spectacles and let's rock!

The Aunts, Abby and Martha:  My initial thought was to cast the Redgrave sisters, but CCB here at SDI showed me this even better proposition.  Apart from being actresses with great dramatic range, they are hysterical in the comedic vein (See Plowright in I Love You to Death and Smith in the classic California Suite just to cite a couple).

Teddy Brewster:  Nathan Lane is funny as shit.  That's all there is to it.  Put on that pith helmet and grow the moustache, friend.

Elaine Harper: Now I must admit, that Elaine's job in this show is to kind of stand around and act confused, although she's certainly not a dimbulb.  I picked SJP because I think she could make the most of a small, but funny role.

Officer O'Hara:  Sigh.  Anyway, the right man to bring Mayor LaGuardia through the window is Meaney.

Dr. Witherspoon: Does anyone know who William Sadler is besides me?  He went from playing the bad guy in Die Hard 2 to Death in Bill & Ted 2.  Now that's what I like--an actor with range.  Now, what he's doing in Rocket Man, I have no idea.  Maybe he needed the money, who knows?

Lt. Rooney:  Fresh from his stint on Air Force One (you remember him?  the Chief of Staff?), Guilfoyle would be perfect for getting nice and red in the face and screaming a lot.


Caan was in the movie Misery, actually.

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