Why The Dark Knight Returns? A couple of reasons.  First, it's widely considered to be the line of demarcation between the "modern, gritty age" of comics and...everything else.  It is bar none the best comic book limited series I've ever read, with Kingdom Come coming in a close second.  (And if you think I'm casting Kingdom Come, you're a looney.)  Also, Frank Miller did it, and Frank Miller is one of those Comic Book Gods.  If you're not familiar with his Sin City, you need to give that a gander as well.

Second, and most importantly -- Joel Schumacher has run the Batman franchise into the mud.  He's had nothing but top line actors and yet couldn't direct them out of a paper bag.  And hey, Joel--you're not alone.  Tim -- Killer penguins?  Come on, buddy.  It's bad enough you turned the first film into Joker--The Movie, but killer penguins?  If you want a good Batman movie, go rent Mask of the Phantasm, and leave the others alone.  But I digress.  If you want to kick off the Batman franchise, wait ten years and do Batman Lives.  If you want to kick ass, do this one.  (As an aside, wouldn't a John Woo Batman flick rock?)

What's the scoop?  If you haven't read the series, it's available in hardback and trade paperback.  Go read it.  Now.  We'll wait.  (whistle)  Hmmm.  Lalala.  Done?  All right, then you basically know that Bruce hung up the cowl and tried to get on with his life.  Yeah, whatever.  But Gotham sinks to even new lows and he has to become the Dark Knight again.  He runs into his old pal, The Joker, among others.  Life didn't get any less deadly with age.

Charlton Heston as Bruce Wayne/Batman: The man I really wanted to cast in this role is no longer with us.  Burt Lancaster would have made a great aging Batman.  Sigh.  Hell, by the time this film would ever get out of Development Hell, Harrison Ford would be ready to play Batman.  Sigh.  Regardless, we need a tough guy who is still in great shape.  Heston, Mr. NRA, is the first name on my list.  And before you scoff, go watch some of his films--I don't care if it's the classics or his stint in Hamlet.  Now, one of our associate caffienologists here, CCB, says that he doesn't think that Batman should be that old.  (Our apologies, Chuck)  My response is that Heston doesn't look as old as he actually is, but has that rugged look that Miller was expressing in the comic's artwork.  I'd be interested in all of you insomniacs' opinions of our casting decision.

Claire Danes as Robin:  If you're asking yourself, "Why is Robin a girl?" then you didn't read the book and you must be flogged with a dead carp.  Otherwise, you need a young-ish girl who can hold her own against all of the big guns we're lining up to play the other roles.  Who else is there but Danes to say the magic word:  "Peel."

Tim Curry as Joker:  What, Widge?  Where's Nicholson?  Well, the problem with Nicholson in the first film was that he basically became the movie.  Which ordinarily is not a problem, because Jack is one of those Acting Gods.  In order to avoid this (and to keep a wonderful but startlingly incongruous Prince off the soundtrack) we're casting an actor who is horribly underrated (IMO) and can pull off the mania we need without all the baggage.  Slap some "old age" Joker make-up on him and let's party.

Sean Connery as Oliver Queen/Green Arrow:  You may say eventually, "Widge?  Why the hell is Connery in everything you cast?"  And I will blink at you severely and answer flatly, "Because he's Connery you twit."  And he wears a hair weave like nobody's business.  Use that Forrest Gump effect to take away an arm and he's ready to be the ornery old Ollie we all know and love.

Christopher Reeve as Superman:  If Chris is not back on his feet by the time this enters production, we would prescribe a CGI body.  But Reeve playing the role not only separates this Superman from the "younger" version in our version of Superman Lives, but also pays homage to the old films.  (God, I'm referring to the Superman I-IV series as the "old films."  Christ, I'm old.)

Sir John Gielgud as Alfred Pennyworth: Understand this.  Michael Gough was the only consistently dead-on part of the Batman franchise.  There was no reason that he did not get cast other than we were trying to make a complete break from the "silly-ass" Batman films of old.  Sir John Gielgud makes a great aging and sarcastic butler.  If you don't believe me, go watch Arthur again.  But skip the sequel.

Brian Dennehy as James Gordon:   Isn't Dennehy cool?

Sophia Loren as Selina Kyle: Many are the actresses that are older and yet still incredibly sexy.  However, we went with Loren because of her lovely exotic quality.  Slinky yet sophisticated.  Meow.  Indeed.