Life sucks. Do you know why life sucks? It's very simple why life sucks.

Because you're not David Bowie. And neither am I. And it's okay to be bitter about this. Why? Well, let's think about this for a second.

If you were David Bowie, then...

• You could reinvent your musical style like most people change their underwear, and even your worst stuff would still be better than 80% of the shit out there
  
• You could change your style of dress and it wouldn't matter because you would still look damn good. If you were David Bowie, you could paint yourself purple and wear just a Speedo and a beanie and still pull it off
  
• Every woman on the planet would want you. And a sizable portion of the men. Even, you know, with the almost naked purple beanie thing going on
  
• You could care less if every woman on the planet wanted you because you'd be married to freaking Iman, for God's sake
  
• You can act your ass off and do films, you know, whenever, because it would be just a hobby
  
• You would have those kickass off-color eyes
  

I know, it sucks to not be David Bowie. But we, along with Filter Magazine, feel your pain. We're not David Bowie either. And we think that something that would make you feel better is to win a copy of 16 David Bowie albums on CD, including the re-releases of Live and Stage. That's a total of nineteen discs, folks. And if that doesn't at least give you a moment's respite from not being David Bowie, then you're just a lost cause.

To win, you fill out the form below and submit it. That's it. And then wait for some kind of succor in your life without all of the cool things we stated above. There's only one prize winner in this one--chosen by random drawing--so pray to whatever gods you hold dear that you will be the one to receive psychic relief...and some cool albums to boot.

Some ground rules apply, though:

• You have to fill out the form--properly--for the entry to be valid.
  
• We're not going to give away or sell your address or e-mail address or anything without your permission. The winner has to get their address given out regardless to get their prizes shipped to them, but beyond that: chill.
  
• You can only enter once. For those of you who need it spelled out to you, that's one person per street address AND e-mail address. You whackjobs who send us fifteen entries a month for the Mystery Box with addresses like "123 Main Street," "123 Main Avenue" and "123 Main" are weak. So don't even try it. We'll throw out all the extraneous entries and mock you.
  
• Contest is open to U.S. residents only this time around.
  
• Contest ends at 11:59PM EST, on Wednesday, April 27th.
  
• If Mr. David Bowie happens across this page, he is ineligible to enter, because he's David Bowie and he's so cool it would be just like him to win this and we'd like to have just a little bit of cool saved for the non-David Bowies of the world. We hope he understands.
  

That's it. For legalese, click here.

Contest Closed! For available contests, click here.