Dil Se (1998)
Film:
DVD:

Directed by Mani Rathnam
Written by Mani Rathnam, with dialogue by Tigmanshu Dhulia & Sujatha
Starring Shahrukh Khan, Manisha Koirala, Preity Zinta

Features:

• Song and chapter menus
  
• Information on other Eros International releases
  
• Trailer for Ziddi
  

Anamorphic: No.

My Advice: Fear it.

Amar (Khan) works for All India Radio. He also has severe issues with self-loathing and apparently is a bit of a professional stalker. The woman he's stalking he meets out of the blue--Meghna (Koirala). He's trying to catch a train and she's waiting on the platform as well. He becomes instantly infatuated with her and won't leave her alone. He keeps running into her time and time again. And no matter how much his ass gets kicked, he still can't get it out of his head (or into her head) that he loves her. And he's convinced she loves him back.

Thus passes an almost four hour film. Now, granted, I'd like to wave my non-Indian badge right now. So if for whatever reason you find me unqualified on a cultural level to review a Bollywood film, back out of the review this instant. I won't be offended. I'm well aware that such films make operas look like Romper Room. The melodrama is normally so thick you couldn't hack your way through it with a chainsaw. That's how the genre works. Oh, and there's normally fighting and songs too. Okay, given.

The problem with this film is that the two main characters are utterly unsympathetic. Amar is a moron and we keep waiting for him to come to his senses, especially when the extraordinarily cute and sexy Preeti (Zinta) comes into his life. But when he doesn't wise up, we wish he would hurry up and get his ass killed so the credits would roll. Meghna is similarly screwed in the head--but at least she has reasons, as are revealed. But still, even with that knowledge in place, it's hard to feel anything for her except pity that Amar has targeted her.

The songs occur outside of the film's continuity, which is a little unnerving. Meghna gets on one train, Amar on another. Next thing you know, they're on the same train, dancing and singing. That at least has some relevance to the story--they're both on trains. (Addendum: I've learned that in actuality, the dancer I'm talking about is not Koirala, but another actress; I was not the only viewer present to make this mistake. The fact that it's that confusing even when you're paying attention is just another example of the problems in the film.) Then later, Preeti sings a song and winds up in a river with Amar. They're like drugged music videos plopped into place. At least the river song is a decent tune and the "music video" is appealing. The one with Meghna and Amar cuddling in a bomb crater is...well, just too damn much.

The film is pretty atrocious, but the DVD is one of the worst I've ever seen. First of all, when watching the film, the subtitles are out of sync for the first ten minutes or so--you have to remember what words flashed up on the screen while the credits were rolling...you'll need them when the actual scene begins some time later.

It's annoying as hell that you actually have to use the main menu to turn on the subtitles, but there aren't any bloody subtitles in the songs! Then to make matters worse the "Chapter Menu" isn't anything of the sort. First, the "Chapter Titles" give away key points of the story that you're about to see, if you've stopped and are trying to find your place again. They're not numbered and don't link up to the chapter stops, so there's nothing to remember except these plot landmarks. And if you miss--well, you're screwed because on my player at home there weren't any stops in the film. You have to fast forward to get to any place you want to go. On my PC there seemed to be stops, so I'm not sure what's up with that.

I think I get a feel for what the film was trying to accomplish: love trying to overcome trauma and violence. But it just became laughably bad when no one--not even I in my most lovestruck late teens angst-mode--would have put up with the crap that Amar did. There are some very entertaining, very moving Bollywood films out there. This is nowhere near any of those. Flee, for the love of all that's holy.