Ladies and gentlemen, now presenting...your permanent guest host...JM Tuffley...

Once in a while I like to take a look and see where the opportunity lies to do something really off the beaten path, or take a character and dream up a radical new spin for them. Usually it’s a character that’s been dormant or underused or at least not used to their full potential of late.

I’ve reading a lot about Geoff Johns’ plans for The Avengers, and one thing struck me interesting: Johns’ plan includes writing Thor out of the title for about a year or so. Which means, good friends, means Dan Jurgens (Thor’s current writer) has him basically all to himself (that’s not counting Mark Millar’s Ultimates, since that’s in the “ULTIMATE-verse” and the NOT real Marvel U). For a year or so. What to do, what to do...

You hear that? That’s opportunity knocking at the door...

Thor is one of the most powerful characters in the current MU, but amazingly, the most underdeveloped as a character. This would be the perfect moment to not only define the character on his own, but to take some solid creative chances with him. And the beauty of it is--since the character is not currently tied to anything else in the MU--said creative team could do just about anything and get away clean (with the understanding that whatever’s done to Thor can be integrated into what Johns has planned for him in Avengers).

Probably the most popular run of the character is Walt Simonson’s run--so it could be argued that taking a good look under the hood of those days would be required reading. Kirby’s run can’t be ignored, either.

But then after letting all that sink in, forget it. Chunk it out the window. And go deeper.

Go back to the Norse myths. Look at ‘em. Research till your eyes bleed. And then go nuts--use the myths as a springboard for insane ideas. You’re gonna be in Asgard (in the wake of Odin’s death--Thor has had to step up as Asgard’s ruler), so the door’s pretty wide open for anything. Although I’ll miss Tom Raney’s stunning visuals--his departure is a chance to re-tool the imagery of the series. You’re going to be in a world of myths occurring within other myths and then slowly blurring into reality. Sandman’s The Dreaming had a definitive look (no matter who was handling the art), Asgard should get some sort of other worldly rethink of that level.

To that end, Dan Jurgens has to go--his more superhero-ly style seems at odds with the more mythical direction Marvel appears to be going in already. My thought would be take it all the way into fantasy than just wading in the pool. I think Jurgens would be more suitable on Uncanny X-Men to contrast with Morrison’s New X-Men (plus I’ve always thought--despite the whole “Death of Superman” stunt--Jurgens could really rock hard on X-Men). Go outside the pool, get a big name fantasy writer for the arc, an artist who can match them in the visuals, and--what the hell--find some way to get Walt to do covers.

Marvel wants to flaunt “no superhero” superhero books, and they really want to stick it to CrossGen’s fantasy line. This is the book to do it on. Work the myths like crazy, go large in the fantasy department. Throw the kitchen sink at him and in the process let Thor define himself--he’s still got a lot of unresolved father issues to deal with--and now he no choice but to stop playing hero and grow up. That’s a lot to play with. Stop thinking of Thor as Marvel’s substitute Superman, and bring him into being the Norse God he should be.

And then aim this thing right at CrossGen. The myth-fantasy heavy approach would also appeal to the Vertigo/Graphic novel crowd Marvel wants to court, and be a definite shot Tampa’s way.

A year or so. Marvel has nothing to lose by getting risky with Thor. And a stronger, more defined Thor would definitely give Geoff Johns something to play off of when Thor eventually returns to Earth and The Avengers.

While you’re digesting that one, something else to chew on...

Let me just say a word or two on the inherent beauty of the internet. There is no barrier betwixt me typing this and your reading it. Think about it. No lines. No waiting. You got a beef with me? Step up and be counted. I might even agree with you. Once.

Anyway you slice it, it’s a damn cool thing.

Used to be when someone wrote something that pissed you off or inspired the frontal lobes, you’d fire off a letter to the editor. You’d hope when mailing the letter, the writer would at least acknowledge your opinion. Of course, the chances of said writer ever actually viewing your letter--much the missive ever seeing print--were slim to none. But you sent it off anyway in the hopes that you’d be THE ONE. Well now we’re all THE ONE, aren’t we? I mean that is the idea, right? No barriers, remember.

So having said all that, what would be my problem with the proliferation of comics columns by comics pros? Really, the more the merrier--welcome to the mosh pit, I say.

But here’s the thing: try actually bringing something to the table. You know, substance? You remember that, don’t you? There are pros whose cols always bring substance to the table...their cols make you think. They bring the insight. No problem there.

However--with sites trying to increase their hit count, ad revenue, or just to get over with certain publishers for future juicy scoops--a new spate of pro columnists have turned up. They like to talk about getting drunk with their fellow creators, or the size of said creators’ private parts. Once they’ve finished their name dropping, they spend the rest of the column whining about why you aren’t reading their books. You know the ones I’m talking about--go read ‘em, and if you find something useful--then I’d say the lobotomy was a complete success, and you are of no further use to me. You’re dismissed.

If I wanted to read an ad for the book, I’d read Previews. If I cared to read the book, I’d actually read the book. If I want rumor or gossip, Rich Johnston has you beaten from the start. Deal with it.

You have the microphone--come with something real. Express yourself, give us (the readers) a topic and your thoughts on said topic. It’s not that hard. It’s not the space to wank how terribly brilliant you are.

Don’t use your column as a vehicle to get over with your book editors, your publishers, or the studio executive looking at your lame script pitch. Not that it’s ever been a rule, but the idea of these things is that you come with an opinion.

And the editors of these sites should know better: having these guys write this brand of column is not scoring any points in the credibility department and not it’s helping the rest of us, either. AND YOU ARE PAYING THESE GUYS TO DESTROY YOU. We’re supposed to be the alternative to that.

Oh, one more thing: if you’re the writer of one of these columns and the reason you got a column (you know, THE PRODUCT) is increasingly late--STOP WRITING THE COLUMN AND DO THE BOOK YOU’RE WHINING WE’RE NOT READING!!!!

There are no barriers out here. For God’s sake, do something with it.

-jm tuffley