For those of you who missed some chapters in our saga, now you can know what the hell is up:

The PHANTOM GRIMACE explodes onto the scene in the burgeoning city of Cinemopolis, taking on such villainy as back room studio executive meetings, the perverse CENSOR GUY and...others who try to make cinema their own private playground for mediocrity. Thinking himself overwhelmed by the constant threat of SEQUELS and PREQUELS alike, he is joined in his fight for cinematic justice by FRANCHISE BOY. His new partner tells the Grimace: "I can make duplicates of myself at will, though each iteration of myself grows steadily weaker, more convoluted and in some cases, someone else wears the costume. You'll never be outnumbered again!"

All seems well until they encounter COUNT CONTINUITY, who boasts: "Everytime you spot a glass of water in a restaurant scene that changes levels of water every other frame--I did that. Everytime someone's cigarette changes length--I did that too." He imprisons the Dynamic Duo by simply editing out the scenes in which he captures them. He then releases the Grimace and offers him a terrible choice: he can save his partner or stop the next CHILDREN OF THE CORN sequel--not both. The Grimace knows he has no choice but to halt the sequel, but while he's doing so Franchise Boy pulls a mind trick on the Count and dares him to make DAVID LYNCH's LOST HIGHWAY more convoluted than it already is. With the Count defeated, Franchise Boy escaped.

Franchise Boy tricks the Grimace into signing over all of his merchandising rights to his adventures. When the Grimace confronts Franchise Boy, the young lad inexplicably transmogrifies into DARK FRANCHISE. This strange new being then casts Grimace down into DEVELOPMENT HELL. There he meets DANTE ALIGHIERI, who has been stuck in Development Hell for centuries, waiting for the feature film of INFERNO to go into production. Last he heard it was at Carolco in 1991. Together they seek out the wise ZALTAR, who tells them of an even greater dilemma--that Development Hell is so full, characters are becoming bizarre amalgams of themselves. The Grimace himself begins to find himself more and more like KEN FOREE from the film FROM BEYOND 2. Zaltar reveals that they can escape Development Hell by simply walking up a very boring non-descript hill.

On the way up the hill they face off with creatures and characters spawned from THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT 2, TARZAN 2 and CARRIE 3 to name a few. The Grimace escapes Development Hell through The Portal of Obscure Tenacity. Unfortunately, thanks to the onset of HYPERTIME, he winds in the DAVID LYNCH UNIVERSE, finds himself in the opening scene of BLUE VELVET, and promptly drops dead of a heart attack while watering his lawn. Meanwhile, back in Cinemopolis, the DARK PHANTOM GRIMACE appears to take the original GRIMACE's place and no one seems to know who he is. But the CINEMA POLICE there are pleased because this new Grimace appears to be much more effective than the old one.

Back in Lynch's Universe, after having his corpse get whizzed on by a passing dog, Dante arrives and forces Grimace to get up and get on with the plot, such as it is. Dante and the real Grimace return to Cinemopolis only to find that the new Grimace may be effective, but that's because he's running a protection racket behind the scenes and making big bucks. When the new Grimace reveals his identity, he turns out to be JOEL SCHUMACHER. All are stunned, especially the guy writing all this, when suddenly a THIRD GRIMACE bursts through the wall and demands that he is the true Grimace.

When this third Grimace reveals himself, he turns out to be JOHN BYRNE. The two new dark Grimaces turn on each other and begin arguing about who is the most evil of the both of them. With the two of them arguing, Grimace and Dante simply walk off and go have a taco.