Why Sleeping Beauty? Well, because Disney is big, okay?  And remakes of Disney classics are big, too.  Look at not only the live-action 101 Dalmatians hitting $136 million smackeroos, but The Lion King musical has kicked the recent Broadway season's ass.  Not only does this one have one of the baddest of the bad Disney villains, but it's ripe to be the next live-action film on their rehash list.

What's the scoop?  Really simple.  You've seen the original, right?  Just like that, except with real people.

Kirsten Dunst as Princess Aurora:  You need someone young to play the part of the princess, but you'd have to have someone who was not only "beauty" but also a helluva actress.  Anyone who's seen Interview with the Vampire may not have liked the film, but Dunst's portrayal of Claudia was incredible.  Between that and the bit actress part in Wag the Dog, she's got plenty of range.  Prick her finger and let's start shooting.

Edward Furlong as Prince Phillip:  The trouble is, you've got to have someone who's young, handsome, and yet can still act like royalty, even when they're hacking away at thorns with a big-ass sword.  After discussing this over several pots of coffee, we finally settled on Mr. Furlong, since we haven't seen enough of him around, IOO.  And he'd look good in armor.  So yeah.

Frances McDormand as Maleficent:  We were talking about range a second ago, right?  Well, here's a lady whose middle name is range.  We were originally thinking about all of the obvious people--but they're TOO obvious.  They've been evil, done evil.  Glenn Close did the aforementioned dog movie, Sigourney Weaver was the witch in a Snow White movie, and Anjelica Huston was Morticia, for God's sake.  What to do?  Think of the animated Malificent, and then think of McDormand's face (although purple/blue or whatever color it was) there.  She would have a field day, and so would we, the audience.

Goldie Hawn as Flora, Lily Tomlin as Merryweather, Bette Midler as Fauna:  For the good fairies, you need some really good funny actresses.  We're not trying to do a reunion of sorts, since each of them have worked before in pairs, but just have diverse elements of humor.  I think they'd have a really good time with it.

Richard Briers as King Stefan, Michael Gambon as King Herbert:  For these roles you need regal looking chaps.  Briers has played a king (of sorts) in A Midwinter's Tale and Gambon hasn't played a king actually, but take his character from The Wings of the Dove, sober him up and put a crown in his head, and I think you're ready to rock.