Why Superman Lives? Well, because it's already in the works.  They've cast Nicholas Cage as Supes, and rumors are all over the place as to how the costume's going to be like, and whether or not Braniac and Luthor are going to be amalgamated and if Jim Carrey is going to be Braniac.  We might as well do it right here at the SDI.  For the latest on the "real thing," check out the page at Corona.

Nicholas--you're an incredible actor.  You're also a lunatic comic fan (the man's stage name is taken from Luke Cage, the Marvel Comics character).  I think you'd make a better Iron Man meself, but hey!  Don't let us down!  I'm keeping the faith!  I believed in Keaton and he proved me right, so rock the heck on...

But Jim Carrey as Braniac?  No, I don't know what they were thinking either.

What's the scoop?  Well, the current flick is going to be based on the wildly successful (and pretty darn good, too) "Death of Superman" story arc where they killed the big guy to show us how Supes could not be taken for granted.  Our film would have the opening credits playing amidst a hodge-podge of CNN cut-ins of the battle raging between Supes and Doomsday, and of course the end of the credits is the big punch that flattens them both.  You never see Superman's face.  Cut to six months later, with a reporter in front of the Superman Memorial in lovely downtown Metropolis talking about the world is still mourning.  Although it would be cool to have all four replacements (Steel, Superboy, Eradicator and the Cyborg), CCB , our version of Juan Valdez, pointed out that the film would wind up longer than Lonesome Dove.  I said, "But, CCB, this is the DreamCasts site!"  He said, "Exactly, and not the LudicrousCasts site."  I said, "Oh, okay.  Be that way."

Steel rises up to try to help the city, so does Batman.  Eventually, Supes comes back in that nifty black and silver outfit and saves the day.  How?  Well, I bet Kevin Smith could have told you.  That's it.

Billy Zane as Clark Kent/Superman: Like I said above, Nicholas Cage is an awesome actor.  But some people just don't think he's right for the part. Hell, they said the same things about Keaton as Batman and Cruise as Lestat, but I think that both actors rocked in those parts.  We wracked our brains for this here at SDI, staying up many sleepless nights combing the IMDB looking for just the right person.  Zane has been consistently cool and although not a NAME like the execs are looking for--we say, "Rise up in the cafeteria and stab them with your plastic forks!"  Start working out, Bill.

Rutger Hauer as Lex Luthor:  Nicholson is the frontrunner for Luthor (rumoredly) in the "real" film.  Nicholson is a great villain (and a decent Joker), but knowing that the film would become "Lex Luthor--The Movie, guest starring superman," we said, nah.  The only reason Gene Hackman didn't get this is because we wanted to sever almost all ties to the last film.  Although Hackman might make an interesting turn as Perry White.  Anyway, many names were bandied about, and John Lithgow hit the fore.  I mean, he does great evil!  But then we decided we needed that really cold-blooded evil.  I mean, The Hitcher?  Who has picked up a hitchhiker since then, eh?  Let Rutger shave his head and let's rescue him from all of these C-level movies that he's been doing!  Come back from Direct to Video Land, Rutger!  We need you!

Tea Leoni as Lois Lane:  Sandra Bullock is supposedly Lois in the new film, but Lois needs to be not only beautiful, but also be able to kick butt at the drop of a hat.  Leoni is one of the most beautiful ladies out there, and she can kick around anyone here at the SDI any time she would care to.

Michael Keaton as Batman:  Hey, Kevin Smith introduced the idea of a Batman cameo, and if you're going to do a Batman cameo you've got to have the best Batman so far--Keaton.  Don't even debate me on this--although I love Kilmer and Clooney to death--they were directed by Joel "It's All the Internet's Fault" Schumacher, and that makes them off-limits for the batsuits.

Laurence Fishburne as John Henry Irons/Steel:  Shaq, you're a cool guy and everything, and I've got nothing in the world against you--but who the hell picked out your armor?!  Nah, there's no end to the actors who might play this -- Wesley Snipes was mentioned, as was Denzel Washington, but I settled on Laurence Fishburne -- a picture of total strength.  And why were they so eager to get the Steel movie off the ground?  Why didn't they release the new Superman, and then spinoff Steel from it?  Oh, well.

Eric Stoltz as Jimmy Olsen:  I think we'd go with the not-quite-as-young-and-slightly-goofy version of Jimmy that has come around recently.  And the guy who fits that description and who has red hair...yeah.  You got it.

Charles Durning as Perry White:   Well, Durning recently had a turn as Clooney's newspaper boss in One Fine Day, so he knows the ropes, and well--gosh darnit, he just looks a lot like Perry, don't he?

Doomsday: Doesn't have any lines.  Stands--what, twelve feet tall?  Something ridiculous like that?  Breaks stuff--a lot.  Breaks people--even more.  Yeah, CGI--that's the ticket!

Christopher Reeve as Jor-El:   The perfect person to have in a tribute-style cameo, as the father leading his son back from death.  As in Dark Knight, if Chris isn't on his feet by then, we think a CGI body would do the trick.