Halfsies (2003)
Figure & Set:

Produced by Doe

Asking Price: US$17.99

My Advice: The sickos amongst you must own.

Cute little animals, minding their own business. Then...suddenly...they're bisected. Yup, split through the old belly. And now you can entertain yourself, if you're sufficiently morbid, by mixing and matching their tops and bottoms. The jury's still out on how the animals themselves feel about this whole thing, since the "Doktor" on the packaging claims they love it, but there's the kitty cat protesting, "Why the *&$%# would you even think I'd want a *&$%# duck butt?!"

These things are hilarious. You get four vinyl figures in the set: a monkey, a kitty, a bunny, and a ducky. All with the gore-strewn (okay, it's red) area where the surgery was performed and all with the little dots for sewing them back together--or however you wish to have them grafted into new configurations.

The only thing you're missing is a bee, so you could name it Eric, of course--but they did have the foresight to include that on the packaging. They are designed by Roman Dirge, who has a reputation of deftly balancing the morbid and the whimsical, and sculpted by Nathan Cabrera, who maximizes the snickering tragedy of this whole deal.

Amazingly, they all can stand up in various combinations, which is impressive. And they fit together and come apart fairly easily. And that's really all there is to it. The majority of the joy involved with this set is springing it on an unsuspecting friend or family member (I won't give you any ideas or mention any names, because that would be indiscrete: Dindrane) and watching their traumatized expression. Fun for the whole family.

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