Amazingly, in the past week, Nicolas Cage did NOT get the role of Bruce Banner in The Incredible Hulk. Instead, Eric (Chopper) Bana got the job. Also announced was the fact that the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory remake IS going ahead. Instead of Gene Wilder, the last name bandied about was Cage. Personally, if anyone other than Alan Cumming gets the role then it truly will suck rocks. Furthermore, if you're going to do a new Wonka pic, forget the pic part and just make it a new musical starring Cumming. Oh, but that would make too much sense.

Speaking of remakes, The Time Tunnel is headed back to television. That should be interesting. An Irwin Allen remake frenzy should ensue. Are you surprised that Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea hasn't spawned a spinoff? And no, Seaquest does not count.

More Fallout From the Attacks...

Yes, well, you're going to be hearing about this from all angles. I know it. But it's on everybody's mind--including mine, so bear with me. I'm one of those strange people who believes that everything happens for a reason. It helped me get through my depressed years. And already, some good things are coming out of 9-11, if you can believe that. American complacency is at an all time low. People are actually watching the news, which--for the most part, more on this in a moment--is actually showing stuff that's NEWS and not just ENTERTAINMENT or DIVERSIONARY CRAP. People are actually beginning to think about things: where is America doing things and why are they doing them? So that's a positive.

But we are taking some very interesting steps backward...or at least awkwardly sideways. Commercials with companies shilling for their product and painting it as some way that they're helping push forward the American way--these are walking a very fine line. GM cars are interest free? Okay, maybe. Ralph Lauren with a goofy grin wearing a sweater with an American flag on it? Ahhhhhh, no. I realize that all these corporations are trying to walk that tightrope without killing themselves or the spectators below. They're dealing with an unstable economy that's actually beginning to believe the bad things the media's been reporting about it. And they're dealing with less visibility since wall-to-wall news programming has no place in it for their products. Maybe my sensitivity's off because I'm not a tube watcher, but still, I get that bad taste in my mouth at times.

Could be worse. I've only read and heard about "celebrity reactions" to the attacks. Luckily, I haven't caught any of them firsthand. But seriously, apart from fundraising or making statements about the attacks through art (The West Wing's special episode, for example)--do we really need to know their thoughts? Unless they're experts for some reason, or have some insight--no one cares. Tom Clancy? Sure. Martin Sheen? Okay, I guess. Keanu Reeves? Um, no. No one cares.

CNN, on the other hand, is just about to make me come through the TV at them. They're reaching and they're doing it badly. I watched a report outside the American Media building where they were pressing two contractors who had spent a few hours in the building each (I think it was a pest control guy and an A/C guy)--and asking them all manner of questions about their friends, co-workers, their barbers--could THEY have gotten exposed too? Are you scared at all? How do you feel? Milk that udder, guys. Hope it doesn't get you in the eye.

That's the problem with news, even now in this "Brave New World" of post-9/11. News can't just be news anymore. They want to make it entertainment. So much of what was reported on news before last month had no relevance on your life whatsoever. Honestly, for those who were in the Atlanta area (and those outside who might have heard of it)--what in the hell did the Gold Club trial have to do with anything? Or plug your own favorite local scandal. Entertainment. That's why you used to be able to get, at four o'clock in the afternoon, a quick bit of the anchor saying, "Can venetian blinds give your children cancer? More at 11." Dammit, if you know something that might be giving my family cancer, you better say something NOW or I'll drive down there. I'm waiting for the quick bit about anthrax and a question like that involving your peace of mind. I'm also waiting for the angry mobs of villagers outside the television stations. Could be interesting.

A friend of mine told me recently that if all goes well, we might actually find ourselves with civilization on our hands in about a hundred years. That's a nice thought--we just need to evolve and we need to do it in a hurry. Just remember what Bill Hicks once said: we didn't stop evolving just because we grew thumbs.

Be good.

=Widge.

P.S. Box Office Poison

Boy, didn't I suck wind? Bandits actually came in second, according to box office estimates, right behind Training Day. I'm just so unused to films actually having legs at all, so it all took me completely by surprise. That and everything is extremely volatile, what with all of the anthrax uncertainty going on--I maintain that that through everything to sixes and sevens. Corky came in third. I did get the Training Day dropoff right--it was indeed less than 50%, although Serendipity dropped only 33%--so I guess I called that in a backhanded kinda way. And everything did slide off into nothingness--Hearts in Atlantis made $2.8 million. Ow.

Okay...next weekend's going to be interesting. Three new releases: Last Castle (for the older males), From Hell (for the younger males), and Riding in Cars With Boys (for the ladies). If we can just keep the world from going batshit over the course of the week, you could actually have a really kickass segment going--there's something for everybody. And as for Bandits--forget it. They lost their chance. Sorry. Of the three, I'd expect them all to have mid-teens, with them coming in at the box office in the order I listed them. But who knows?

Additional info taken from Variety and Hollywood Reporter.