DC Comics, as was reported in the Gabfest, has closed their doors on unsolicited submissions. The reason given is that they just keep getting their asses sued over alleged theft of ideas. We can only hope that such brilliant ideas as "Last Laugh" and "Our Worlds at War" were not developed in-house.

Now, my initial reaction is this: at least they're being up front about it now. If you're one of the small portion of the teeming masses--the Great Unwashed--who has actually tried to get involved with the Big Two instead of just dreaming about doing so, you probably didn't exactly run into a brick wall--in fact, you more than likely didn't even make it to the brick wall before you fell into the bamboo spike pit. And you were no doubt a bit startled as you felt your body metaphorically perforated. After all, growing up, reading comics--you think that these people must be the coolest ever.

Well, that's what I thought too.

At San Diego a couple of years ago, I approached a DC Comics editor who will remain nameless since my understanding is he's made more of an ass out of himself on his own than me naming him ever could. Anyway, Bailey and myself had come up with a kickass idea for an Elseworlds series, seeing as how we were tired of the imprint being practically renamed Arseworlds for all the quality it was putting out.

I finally tracked said editor down in the DC booth. I told him I wanted to pitch to him, that I had an idea. He told me he wasn't down there on business, and when I asked if I could contact him after the Con, he said he didn't have any business cards on him. I gave him one of mine along with the proposal, he promised he would look at it, and afterwards, he turned to his friends, sneered, and said in front of me, "Let's get out of here before that happens again."

I was too stunned to follow him out of the room, which I should have done because I bet you money he tossed my proposal in the garbage on the way out. Then I would have had more of a kicker with which to end my little story.

Now a few things for the naysayers and comics industry apologists out there. There are some good people in the business. People like Judd Winick and Bendis are still very cool guys to talk to. Neil Gaiman is nicer than most would be after attaining his literary status. So take this like you would any other generalization of mine.

And hey, you know, the story isn't that bad in context. Granted, it's probably the rudest rejection I've ever gotten, but hey, at least he didn't call my mother names--that might have been the next step up. Or down, as the case may be.

But in my defense--they started it. The comics companies want you to believe that there's some way to get in. In fact, that's most of what brings people from all over to San Diego. If you were there this year, you might have seen the Crossgen booth. It was about the size of my lodgings here at SDI headquarters. Anyway, the booth was pretty much full all the time. Why? Well, if you notice, Crossgen has quite a bit of talent on their roster. And the majority of the people in the booth had portfolios.

Yup, they wanted jobs. How many got one? No telling. Or advice. Or a pat on the back. Or something.

But the simple fact of the matter is this. DC should be applauded for finally coming out and saying what their policy has been all along: We don't want you. They can cite the new-fangled litigious society out there, but you know they're sick of dealing with us troglodyte peon fans.

Now Marvel will counter with the same stuff I predicted in the Gabfest. But hey, remember this, no matter how many Quesada and Jemas press releases come out of this: at least DC's telling you the truth.

And honestly, why are you going to the Big Two anyway? Give it five years and make your comics yourselves on the Net. No, you're not going to make any money doing it--but honestly, who does it for the money and the prestige?

Oh, I forgot. DC editors.

Be good.

=Widge