Your Weekend Justice #229: A Do-Si-Do in Hell

Rox of Spazhouse Holiday Special

(Widge's Note: Sorry for the delay on this one, I'm in deadline hell and having to work on this when the files I'm editing are busy saving and whatnot. So consider this our Christmas and New Year's special. The Outtakes episode will follow and we will resume in a bit.)

It's Weekend Justice: the Internet's #1 audio trainwreck, the podcast that is like a fruitcake in that it's not pleasant if you ingest it and it lasts for years.

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By |January 1st, 2015|Podcasts, Weekend Justice|0 Comments

Relieve Your Christmas Anxiety with Black Phoenix

Krampus: Black Phoenix 2014

Ah Christmas (or alternative winter festival of your choice) time. An occasion where all are united in that most special and glorious of emotions: Fear.

You thought I was going to say joy or happiness, didn't you? Now, joy is there, don't get me wrong. But if we are honest with ourselves, Christmas is almost as scary as Halloween. Think about it. As a kid, you were terrified that Santa would judge you as naughty and what's worse, now kids have to worry about that fucking Elf On A Shelf. Seriously, why don't they just make the Sugar CCTV Fairy? As an adult, you fear forgetting getting a gift for someone or getting the wrong gift. You're afraid of what the holiday season is doing to your bank balance and credit rating. You're afraid that your aunt will get drunk and try to molest you or your uncle will argue that Obama is a atheist Muslim lizard Illuminatus or whatever he picked up from talk radio.

As always, Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab is here to help you embrace the festive fear instead of being overwhelmed by it with aromatic perfumes that will help you face your fears and permit it to pass over you and through you. Only you will remain. Well, you and the extra pounds would get from the Christmas spread but you can deal with that in the New Year. But at least you'll smell nice!

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By |December 24th, 2014|Headsup|0 Comments

Starbucks Opens Theme Park in Seattle

Starbucks Roastery

Okay, not technically an actual theme park. But goddamn, it sure looks like it. And I know some people dislike Starbucks for varied and sundry reasons. Me, I'm an equal opportunity coffee drinker. I just need the liquid sleep and 99.8% of the time, I don't care where it comes from.

Let's set all that aside for just a moment. Forget for a second that this is about Starbucks at all. Let's just focus on the coffee aspect of the following setup. In fact, do me this favor. Start the first video...and watch the second video muted. There may be ads preceding one or both, we can't do anything about that...but just...do this experiment. Sync them up as best you can and then see if it doesn't make you a little misty-eyed. If you don't, then I must question your true love of coffee.

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By |December 18th, 2014|Stimuli|0 Comments

Your Weekend Justice #228: The Further Adventures of Lucky Goldstar

Hickory Farms

It's Weekend Justice: the Internet's #1 audio trainwreck, the podcast that is gigantic compared to Leigh. But then again, most things are.

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By |December 7th, 2014|Podcasts, Weekend Justice|0 Comments

And Now... All Skate

Welcome to the fun of roller skating

Apologies for the recent madness. I've been moving the site to a new server set up. We have close to 200 GB of images, podcasts, and other miscellaneous content that had to be ferried from one place to another. I have a degree in English. If you are thinking to yourself that this sounds like a great pitch for a new, darkly humorous sitcom...then you are correct.

I will spare you the full details of the reasons for the move, but suffice it to say that the old home was very old. and one of the things that you run into with an old server home are people trying to break in. if you run a WordPress site, I urge you to install some form of Limit Logins Plugin...because as I learned from one of [...]

By |December 6th, 2014|Stimuli|0 Comments

Fight Christmas Creep With Halloween BPAL Scents

At dawn on November 1st, an explosion goes off in stores across America. Not a chemical or nuclear bomb: a festive bomb. Yes, retailers in their greed and desperation start those jingles and deck the aisles with holly, mistletoe, and every bit of Christmas crap their perverse consumer product researchers can envision. I don't care what the "official" story is, The Elf On The Shelf was imagined by a toy executive after a 72-hour Hunter S. Thompson-inspired drug and hooker binge. This holiday madness has overrun Thanksgiving or The Day Before Black Friday (or Mauve Thursday or whatever the hell it's called). It is only the dark occult power of Halloween that has stopped its advance. Speaking of Halloween, Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab gives you the scented tools to grab a little territory from the Kringle-Industrial Complex. Follow us as we peruse the aromatic armory from Black Phoenix. Because Halloween is always in our hearts. It can also be in our noses.

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By |November 24th, 2014|Headsup|0 Comments

Your Weekend Justice #227: Everything Happened

Randolph Mantooth from Emergency

It's Weekend Justice: the Internet's #1 audio trainwreck, the podcast that wears the Hat of Evil as well as the Socks of Malice.

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By |November 23rd, 2014|Podcasts, Weekend Justice|2 Comments

Your Weekend Justice #226: Margaret Atwood, Please Fix Hollywood

Used Car Lot

It's Weekend Justice: the Internet's #1 audio trainwreck, the podcast that has Mr. Kaplan on speed-dial.

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By |November 16th, 2014|Podcasts, Weekend Justice|0 Comments

32 Days of Halloween Part VIII, Movie Night No. 32: Night of the Living Dead

So here we are again. Halloween. And the end of another 32 Days marathon of mayhem. And, no surprise, our movie for tonight is the same as it's always been...much in the same way that Jack Torrance has always been at the Overlook. It's the first flesh-eating zombie movie. The one that spawned an entire industry...which I'm pleased about for multiple reasons. It's Night of the Living Dead. Maybe we'll see you again next year. Enjoy, everybody. Happy Halloween.

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By |October 31st, 2014|32 Days of Halloween|0 Comments

Smart Costuming is the New Sexy Costuming

Tis the season for the internet to be inundated with articles on the latest in ridiculous 'sexy [blank]' costumes. You know, Sexy Nurse, Sexy Sexy Teacher, Sexy SWAT commando. Even geek culture is not immune from this. Take the picture above. In case they're not obvious (or in case one look was sufficient and you don't wish to repeat the experience), yes, you are seeing Sexy Beetlejuice, Sexy Pikachu from Pokemon, and Sexy Patrick from Spongebob Squarepants. I hate when reality is a better comedy writer than I am.

Now, I am not slut shaming. I am the last person to shame sluts, trust me. But some people for various reasons don't want to expose so much so that the whole world is your gynecologist. Also, some of you want to show some class instead of some ass. So if you're going out tonight or partying this weekend (I know it's November, but hey, any excuse) I thought I would offer a few suggestions on costumes that are geeky and sexy but don't make you look like a streetwalker.

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By |October 31st, 2014|32 Days of Halloween|0 Comments