Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab

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Black Phoenix: Here Be Dragons

Old Map of North America
Where is Petertree Street on this thing?

DragonCon. The convention that is about to take over Atlanta is only a few days away. You know the maniacs of Need Coffee will be there. Presumably, Widge will post some sort of schedule, but honestly when Widge is in pre-DragonCon prep, it’s better to stay away from the screaming. Of course, Need Coffee isn’t the only reason to come to DragonCon. They quite literally have at least one panel track for whatever geeky interest you have. Their Exhibitors and Dealers rooms have taken over the entire AmericasMart building. Speaking of, our friends at Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab are also coming to sell wonderful perfumes to tantalize your nose. And they always brew up an exclusive set of perfumes for the con.

This year, we have what Black Phoenix is calling Dragon Marginalia. What is it? Well, dragons are most known for their fire breath, their […]

By | 2017-09-24T22:24:18+00:00 August 28th, 2017|Headsup|0 Comments

Black Phoenix Amuses With Prank Perfumes

Black Phoenix Alchemy Prank Cat

How’s your year been? Hopefully better than 2016. I have several friends who were quite glad when January 1, 2017 arrived. Of course, now everyone I know is getting PTSD from the news and physically jump when they get a notification from CNN or BBC on their phone. There is a metric fuckton of anger out there, mostly justified to be sure. Mostly everyone is channeling their anger into town halls, protests, and of course Facebook posts. No one can live by outrage alone… well maybe a certain President. Self-care is the latest trending term. Take a moment, smell a flower, watch some comedy shows, just avoid politics for a bit before you return to fight the good fight. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, as always, is there to help. They have made a perfume line inspired by the old fashioned practical joke devices. So let’s see what humorous offerings they have with PRANK.

There are some lovely simple light scents to delight during the summer. This corresponds with the simplistic gags that were the inspiration. Squirting Boutonniere is just that, a fake flower that squirts water (or whatever liquid you can get away with) into people’s faces as they try to smell it. The scent is almost literal: a pink rose scent with the aquatic cucumber and water lily. The Joy Buzzer […]

By | 2017-09-24T22:24:32+00:00 June 9th, 2017|Headsup|0 Comments

Black Phoenix Takes A Stab At Julius Caesar

Assassination of Julius CaesarFilibuster this, motherfucker!

Julius Caesar is one of the major jewels in the Shakespearean crown. “Beware the Ides of March,” “Et Tu, Brute,” “Friends, Romans, Countrymen.” You all know them even if you haven’t read the play in decades or at all. It’s the “Christmas Carol” effect: a work has become so integrated into the collective media subconscious that few people have actually read the original work.

But what were Shakespeare’s original works? I mean, where did Shakespeare do his research? It’s not like he had Wikipedia during the Elizabethan Era. The Encyclopedia Britannia was a couple centuries off in the horizons. So old Will had to go to primary sources. No handy summaries for him. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab has honored those works that informed and inspired Julius Caesar with perfumes that show how those historians used turns of phrase to express this historical event.

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By | 2017-09-24T22:24:34+00:00 May 2nd, 2017|Headsup|0 Comments

Black Phoenix Halloween 2016

Widge and his emotional support animal
Widge and his emotional support animal

After every Halloween, we here at Needcoffee have a ritual. It’s called the Post-Halloween Crash. Yes, the aftereffects of zombies, pumpkin spice everything, and way too much chocolate can lead to one hell of a November hangover. It’s really hard on Widgett. You think the wailing of a child being made to leave a playground is pitiful. You have never heard our Dear Leader screaming to the heavens “Why?! Why is it over!? Why have you forsaken me, O Flying Spaghetti Monster?!” Every damn year.

One method we use to bring Widge back to his senses is the Halloween scents from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. It’s like smelling salts for the spooky set. Let us describe the fragrances that will help all of us, especially Widge, bid adieu to our Samhain ennui.

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By | 2017-09-24T22:24:43+00:00 November 23rd, 2016|Headsup|0 Comments

Put A Spring In Your Step With Black Phoenix

human scent

Spring has arrived or, as Robin Williams aptly put it, “Spring is nature’s way of saying, ‘Let’s party!’” You can see the grass thrusting out of the ground, flowers spreading their pollen so indiscriminately, and animals in heat putting out their scent. Many members of the animal kingdom use pheromones to signal their intent, to perpetuate their genetic code, or stated simply, to fuck. While there is some debate about the existence of human pheromones, most biologists say that if they exist, they really aren’t that influential. Being human, if nature didn’t provide, we provide for ourselves with Science! Chemistry, botany, zoology mixed together with creativity and an understanding of passion. Some of the best people in the perfume business who understand this mad dance of heady science and base desire are Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab. It is in their Lupercalia release that they let their freak flag fly and have perfumes to attract the interest and inflame the passion of the object of your desire. What you do after that is your own affair […]

By | 2017-09-24T22:25:08+00:00 April 13th, 2016|Headsup|1 Comment

Remember The Snow With Black Phoenix

bpal yule krampus 2015

(Widge’s Note: Scott turned it in late and life fell on me and I made it more late. So it’s on me. But regardless, some people want to celebrate Xmas year-round, so I guess this is for them. I celebrate Halloween year-round so I can’t judge. Much. Weirdos.)

Yeah I know, the Christmas Black Phoenix post is late. First off, it does celebrate all of winter, not just Christmas and since’s it’s still winter, it’s not really late. Second… yeah Krampus. Knowing it was that time again, I had scheduled a few days for our usual carnal extravaganza. The thing I didn’t account for is Krampus’ increased popularity. Krampus festivals have increased in the U.S. and of course there’s the recent movie. So Krampus awareness is on a all-time high. It seems that with anthropomorphic representations, more belief doesn’t just give them more power, it gives them more stamina, if you know what I mean. I knew with that special glint in his eye and the suggestive way he was flicking his […]

By | 2017-09-24T22:25:08+00:00 February 10th, 2016|Headsup|0 Comments

Embrace The Series of Halloweens With Black Phoenix

Black Phoenix Halloween 2015
The new Uber: uncomfortable seating but bypasses all the traffic…

Widge’s Note: No idea what Scott’s on about here, it’s still twelve days until 3rd Halloween. Hope everybody is enjoying decorating their trees with black lights and a magnificent Cthulhu tree topper. Anyway, here’s Scott.

I have something to admit. Halloween got away from me. Real life can be relentless. We’ve had like two or three actually cold days this fall in my part of Florida. I had assignments from a couple of programming courses so my nights were filled with Java not with ghosts and demons; I had a Mickee Faust Club show that ended on Halloween so my costumes were for stage not for a party. And right after I had a chest cold from Hell so I was somewhat occupied. The scariest thing I did was handle a massive prop burger made from dog food, sawdust, and… other things. Long story. But you-know-who helps keep that spirit going long after the Halloween candy on […]

By | 2017-09-24T22:25:08+00:00 December 13th, 2015|Headsup|0 Comments

Black Phoenix Comes From Both Mars and Venus… and Brings Chocolate

BPAL Mars and Venus Botticelli

Spring has finally arrived and with it signs of life: pollen everywhere, animals in heat, and people contemplating matters both romantic and carnal. And yes, people are always considering these matters to be sure, but it occurs with more frequency without the winter chill to distract everyone. There are many festivals to celebrate the return of vigor to the soil and to our loins. The ancient Roman festival Lupercalia comes to mind for some reason.

In this festival, priests would run around the city, striking women’s hands with thongs made from sacrificial animals. This would somehow help women get pregent and ease their childbirth pain. (Don’t ask me why, religion is confusing.) The festival also indirectly honors both Mars and Venus. Venus is obvious, with celebrants wanting fertility–which was a big selling point in the ancient Roman marriage market. Lupercalia also honors the she-wolf that suckled the twins Romulus and Remus–founders of Rome and sons of Mars. Mars and Venus had far more in common with each other than their modern […]

By | 2017-09-24T22:25:34+00:00 April 3rd, 2015|Headsup|0 Comments

Black Phoenix Puts Sherlock Holmes On The Right Scent

221B Baker Street Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab

The Great Detective, Sherlock Holmes, must be one of the most scrutinized characters in fiction. Appropriate for someone who excels in observation and analysis. Study of the residents of 221B Baker Street and dissecting their stories is known as the Sherlockian game or more simply The Great Game. People regularly debate the location of Watson’s Afghan war wound (leg or shoulder) and Watson’s first name (John or James). Many have tried to determine Sherlock’s lineage, his university, and even his sexual preference. No detail is too minute for scrutiny. Since I have been writing about Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab a lot, something occurred to me. There seems to be a major aspect of speculation missing: what did Sherlock Holmes smell like?

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By | 2017-09-24T22:25:36+00:00 February 24th, 2015|Headsup|2 Comments

Relieve Your Christmas Anxiety with Black Phoenix

Krampus: Black Phoenix 2014

Ah Christmas (or alternative winter festival of your choice) time. An occasion where all are united in that most special and glorious of emotions: Fear.

You thought I was going to say joy or happiness, didn’t you? Now, joy is there, don’t get me wrong. But if we are honest with ourselves, Christmas is almost as scary as Halloween. Think about it. As a kid, you were terrified that Santa would judge you as naughty and what’s worse, now kids have to worry about that fucking Elf On A Shelf. Seriously, why don’t they just make the Sugar CCTV Fairy? As an adult, you fear forgetting getting a gift for someone or getting the wrong gift. You’re afraid of what the holiday season is doing to your bank balance and credit rating. You’re afraid that your aunt will get drunk and try to molest you or your uncle will argue that Obama is a atheist Muslim lizard Illuminatus or whatever he picked up from talk radio.

As always, Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab […]

By | 2017-09-24T22:25:39+00:00 December 24th, 2014|Headsup|0 Comments