The Great Detective, Sherlock Holmes, must be one of the most scrutinized characters in fiction. Appropriate for someone who excels in observation and analysis. Study of the residents of 221B Baker Street and dissecting their stories is known as the Sherlockian game or more simply The Great Game. People regularly debate the location of Watson's Afghan war wound (leg or shoulder) and Watson's first name (John or James). Many have tried to determine Sherlock's lineage, his university, and even his sexual preference. No detail is too minute for scrutiny. Since I have been writing about Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab a lot, something occurred to me. There seems to be a major aspect of speculation missing: what did Sherlock Holmes smell like?
Ah Christmas (or alternative winter festival of your choice) time. An occasion where all are united in that most special and glorious of emotions: Fear.
You thought I was going to say joy or happiness, didn't you? Now, joy is there, don't get me wrong. But if we are honest with ourselves, Christmas is almost as scary as Halloween. Think about it. As a kid, you were terrified that Santa would judge you as naughty and what's worse, now kids have to worry about that fucking Elf On A Shelf. Seriously, why don't they just make the Sugar CCTV Fairy? As an adult, you fear forgetting getting a gift for someone or getting the wrong gift. You're afraid of what the holiday season is doing to your bank balance and credit rating. You're afraid that your aunt will get drunk and try to molest you or your uncle will argue that Obama is a atheist Muslim lizard Illuminatus or whatever he picked up from talk radio.
As always, Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab is here to help you embrace the festive fear instead of being overwhelmed by it with aromatic perfumes that will help you face your fears and permit it to pass over you and through you. Only you will remain. Well, you and the extra pounds would get from the Christmas spread but you can deal with that in the New Year. But at least you'll smell nice!
At dawn on November 1st, an explosion goes off in stores across America. Not a chemical or nuclear bomb: a festive bomb. Yes, retailers in their greed and desperation start those jingles and deck the aisles with holly, mistletoe, and every bit of Christmas crap their perverse consumer product researchers can envision. I don't care what the "official" story is, The Elf On The Shelf was imagined by a toy executive after a 72-hour Hunter S. Thompson-inspired drug and hooker binge. This holiday madness has overrun Thanksgiving or The Day Before Black Friday (or Mauve Thursday or whatever the hell it's called). It is only the dark occult power of Halloween that has stopped its advance. Speaking of Halloween, Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab gives you the scented tools to grab a little territory from the Kringle-Industrial Complex. Follow us as we peruse the aromatic armory from Black Phoenix. Because Halloween is always in our hearts. It can also be in our noses.
So you may be wondering why the post about the Yule perfumes from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab is showing up after Christmas. Well, I was experimenting with some new search algorithms from Miskatonic University's Computer Science Department to see if it would improve the hook up app, Grindr. I don't know if it was the arcane interaction with the GPS or the time of the year, but somehow I summoned Krampus, the dark demonic beast and punisher of bratty children at Christmastime. There he was with his whip and switch in hand, looking me over, and answered the question I asked last year, "Yes, I am single." He then asked his own question: "Your place or mine?"
So yeah, I hooked up with Krampus. I mean, it's not every day you have lots and lots of sex with an anthropomorphic avatar. And well, Krampus is insatiable. First, we
[Widge's Note: I've had to trim six paragraphs and three diagrams from the article at this point. You're welcome.]
then lastly, we cleaned up all the whipped cream and exchanged phone numbers. So since I've had time to recover, here are the scents to brighten your holiday season.
Fall has finally arrived here in Florida. Our high temperature was only at the low 70s. Of course, whether it stays we will have to see. Fall tends to fluctuate around here. But the (temporary) chill in the air does help with getting in the mood for the Black Phoenix Halloween perfume lines. So gather around my Halloween people--November or not, it is time to explore the frightening fragrances and supernatural scents from the olfactory occultists of Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab.
Coraline "Not Caroline" Jones is one of the most dangerous things known to humanity: a smart kid who is bored. Unlike the young lumpenproletariat who merely engages in standard juvenile delinquency, these young masters of disaster make nitroglycerin in the bathtub, or hack into various federal agencies, or perform science experiments on their siblings. But even more than that: Coraline belongs to that elite class where their troublemaking is not restricted to this plane of existence. She travels to a world which is similar to ours but not quite. In this other world, there is her Other Mother and her Other Father--they're like Coraline's parents, but with crucial differences. Those being that her Other Parents pay attention to Coraline, cook her non-exotic food, and just basically love her to pieces. Even her neighbors are far more interesting and the whole apartment building seems alive with magic. Of course, everyone having buttons for eyes is a little off-putting. And the Other Mother seems really needy. Especially when she wants Coraline to stay and have buttons installed as well. Coraline is going to have to be very brave and very clever because the Other Mother simply does not take 'No' for an answer.
Well, yes, yesterday saw the return of Mandatory Romance Occasion or as it is commonly known, Valentine's Day. That day when couples desperately reach for the same cliche activities like the Fancy Dinner TM, the dozen roses, and, you know, some sort of jewelry. And for the singles, you might have drowned your loneliness in some sort of sugar, fat, or alcohol or--and more likely--a combination of all three. But complaining about Valentine's Day has become a cliche in itself. So no more bitching and moaning, we move on to Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab's perfume that broaden your perspectives while delighting your nose.
Christmas has always been portrayed as a time of comfort and joy. So it makes sense that people will take comfort in the many and various Christmas traditions like the tree, the carols, and the complaints. But Christmas traditions are not set in fruitcake--new ones get added and existing ones get changed all the time. For instance, along with those classics It's A Wonderful Life and Miracle On 34th Street (the original in black and white, naturally), your Christmas viewing may also include A Christmas Story, Scrooged, or even Die Hard.
But alongside these, Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab has its own Christmas traditions and wants to share them with you.