Losing My Blade Runner Virginity

Blade Runner: The Final Cut

I like to consider myself a movie buff. My birthday parties are movie marathons. I spend a great deal of money seeing movies in theatres. I watch bad movies just for fun. I analyze movies quite thoroughly. I like to look at every angle of their production and think about they way the filmmakers went about realizing the world. I like to go on long diatribes and rants about how film could be improved–I’ve even done so, in print, on this site. Heck, I even want to write such things for a living someday.

However, it shames me to admit that there a great deal of movies I should have seen. Not just any movies–I’m talking classic movies: movies that define genres and are generally considered some of the greatest of all time. Why haven’t I seen these movies when I have seen the Star Wars Holiday Special? To be perfectly honest: I have no freaking idea. Every time I hear one of these movies mentioned and go to talk about it, all I have to contribute is, “Oh yeah…I, uh…really should see that.” Which as a movie nerd I find ABYSMAL. There are certain movies I despise not having seen, mainly because I have no idea if anyone else knows what they’re talking about.

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By | 2017-09-24T22:43:06+00:00 March 9th, 2011|Stimuli|6 Comments

High Spirits (1988) – Adverse Video Review

High Spirits movie poster

1988 was a great year for films. It was the year of Rain Man, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Big, Coming to America, Die Hard and High Spirits? I bet you are thinking to yourself, “Wow, I don’t think I have seen this.” Now go to the bottom of this article and read the cast line up and then ask yourself this question: “Have I seen this movie?”

High Spirits is one of those 1980s films that dance the line between obscure and “Man, I know I have seen this on TNT.” It has a cast (Daryl Hannah, Peter O’Toole, Steve Guttenberg, a pre-boob job Jennifer Tilly, Beverly D’Angelo, Peter Gallagher, a very skinny Liam Neeson, and more) that makes you wonder whether or not you have actually seen this movie. Ladies and gents, this film rides that fine line so often that the Blockbuster by my house doesn’t even carry it. In fact, I have tried for a while to find it at local stores and finally broke down and ordered it online.

For those of us that don’t ride the “maybe-train” but bought a ticket on the “This-is-awesome-train-o-wacky-ghost-antics”–the answer is yes: it is the one parked next to the Ghostbusters 2-train—you remember how amazingly hilarious and heart warming this Metro Goldwyn Mayer film is. From fake ghosts, to ghosts that want love, sex, and their castle back, High Spirits is one of those films from the 1980s that keeps you coming back for more.

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By | 2017-09-24T23:01:13+00:00 July 12th, 2009|Adverse Video|4 Comments

Kill Bill, Volume 2 (2004) – Movie Review

Kill Bill Vol. 2

Written & Directed by Quentin Tarantino
Starring Uma Thurman, David Carradine, Daryl Hannah, Michael Madsen, Gordon Liu
My Advice: Don’t Miss It.

When we last left our heroine, The Bride (Thurman), she had opened up twin cans of whoopass on two of her former teammates, Vernita (Vivica A. Fox) and O-Ren (Lucy Liu). And who can blame her? These are two of the people that crashed her wedding by massacring everyone present and putting The Bride in a coma for four years. Now there’s two other former compatriots left…and Bill (Carradine). And well, you know what the title is.

The good news is that the second installment is a worthy ending to this two-parter. The three main villains, Bill, Elle (Hannah) and Budd (Madsen) are like a container of dangerous Neapolitan ice cream. Madsen plays redneck dangerous, Elle plays bitter, vengeful dangerous and Carradine goes for the quiet, zen-like, I-could-kill-your-ass-at-fifty-yards-with-a-credit-card deadly. They’re all very effective and believable. And they also make formidable enemies for our already kill-crazy Bride–which is a very good thing, since after The House of Blue Leaves, what could be worse? Well, there are answers to that, oh yes. As for Thurman, she’s still so perfect it hurts, showing off her acting chops in these two films like never before.

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By | 2017-09-25T00:00:34+00:00 April 16th, 2004|Movies, Reviews|0 Comments

Kill Bill, Vol. 1 (2003) – DVD Review

Kill Bill, Vol. 1 DVD

Film:
DVD:

Written & Directed by Quentin Tarantino
Starring Uma Thurman, Lucy Liu, Julie Dreyfus, Vivica A. Fox, Daryl Hannah

Features:

  • Making-of featurette
  • Bonus musical performances by The 5, 6, 7, 8s
  • Tarantino trailers

Released by Miramax
Rating: R
Region: 1
Anamorphic: Yes.
My Advice: If you can, hold out for the Uber Mongo edition.

The Bride (Thurman) has had a bit of a rough go. See, she used to be in the employ/cadre of Bill (Carradine), who is one of the meanest sons of bitches on the planet. As a member of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, The Bride, aka Black Mamba, killed (and killed well) for shitloads of money. However, apparently she decided to get the hell out of Dodge, and pissed off her former compadres in the process. They found her at the wedding chapel and then slaughtered her and her fellow wedding party types. Or at least, they thought they had.

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By | 2017-09-25T00:00:34+00:00 April 12th, 2004|DVD|0 Comments

A Walk to Remember (2002) – DVD Review

A Walk to Remember DVD cover art

Film:
DVD:

Written by: Karen Janszen, based upon the novel by Nicholas Sparks
Directed by: Adam Shankman
Starring: Mandy Moore, Shane West, Peter Coyote, and Daryl Hannah

Features:

  • Two commentary tracks, one with director Shankman and stars West and Moore, the other with writers Janszen and Sparks
  • Mandy Moore music video
  • Cast film highlights
  • Theatrical trailers

Released by: Warner Home Video
Region: 1
Rating: PG
Anamorphic: Yes

My Advice: Skip it

A Walk to Remember, adapted from the novel by Nicholas Sparks, relates the story of Landon (West), part of the “in” clique in his high school, and Jamie (Moore), the preacher’s moral daughter, and the love they come to share in the face of tragedy. Sound familiar? A little like Love Story perhaps? Well, it is. It’s very much like most romances, in fact, with very little to differentiate it.

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By | 2011-10-04T07:24:26+00:00 December 7th, 2003|Reviews|0 Comments

Kill Bill Vol. 1 (2003) – Movie Review

Kill Bill, Vol. 1 movie poster

Written & Directed by Quentin Tarantino
Starring Uma Thurman, Lucy Liu, Vivica A. Fox, Daryl Hannah, Sonny Chiba

My Advice: Don’t Miss It.

She has no name, she’s just referred to as The Bride (Thurman). She was left for dead, along with the other corpses which made up her wedding party, by her former lover and (apparently) employer, Bill (David Carradine). We’re talking beat the shit out of and shot in the head left for dead. Now, four years later, she’s come out of her coma with a steel plate in her head…and without the baby she was carrying. She very quickly develops a complete and utter mad-on for Bill and her former cohorts, and gets on the trail of killing them. Every last one of them.

I don’t know what I find most disturbing about this film. Is it the extremely harsh, unforgivingly brutal yet amazingly gorgeous violence, all of it orchestrated like some mad ballet? Or is the fact that Tarantino‘s filmmaking prowess has been honed like one of Sonny Chiba’s blades and that his homage to chop socky goodness is flawless? Because it is–it’s flawless. Sure, you can say what you want about how it’s a shallow orgy of death and dismemberment–go ahead, you know, because in one sense, it is. But you can’t see Thurman’s reaction to waking up–alone–and not feel that something else is going on here. The pairing of the opening credits music with what you just witnessed in the prologue–this is not a shallow film. Visceral, demanding and unforgiving, yes–but shallow, hell no.

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By | 2011-07-06T04:46:17+00:00 October 10th, 2003|Reviews|0 Comments