It’s Weekend Justice: the Internet’s #1 audio trainwreck. It’s the podcast that creates verbs where they are proper nouns just to see if anyone’s paying attention. Usually they are, but they couldn’t care less. This podcast was engineered–some might say over-engineered–by experts to escort you from the work week in the most chaotic manner possible. Please note: this podcast is profane, definitely oversexed and definitely overwrought. It is wrong and unsafe. You have been warned.
So I’ve now watched 127 Hours twice, once with the commentary. I had wanted to catch this in the cinema but just couldn’t get to it–and now I’m actually glad I didn’t since I found the experience to be personally devastating. I’m not just talking about That Thing That Happens In The Last Reel. And it’s not spoilers if it’s history, so let’s just have it out and be done with it: Aron Ralston, played in the film by James Franco, amputates his own arm with a dull multi-tool in order to free himself from the rock that has pinned him down in a narrow canyon. And I’m glad I didn’t watch this in the cinema because watching that had me out of my seat, hands over my face (but not covering my eyes) and in absolute shock. And I’m the guy who is normally fine with “fake” gore…but this was so real and felt so real–and I felt so much for the character of Aron–that I was mind-blown.
Written by: Ben Best & Danny McBride
Directed by: David Gordon Green
Starring: Danny McBride, Natalie Portman, James Franco, Justin Theroux, Toby Jones, Zooey Deschanel, Charles Dance, Rasmus Hardiker
Review: It’s difficult to review a movie that consists mainly of phallic jokes and, well…more phallic jokes. Except to say that I laughed uproariously throughout. McBride and Franco have a hilarious Pegg/Frost dynamic going, and Portman sports some of the most poetically homicidal dialogue I’ve heard in a while, not to mention a metal thong. Also, “It’s magic, Motherfucker!” is my new catchphrase.
Time: 18 seconds
Written by: David Koepp, based on the comic book character created by Steve Ditko & Stan Lee, published by Marvel Comics
Directed by: Sam Raimi
Starring: Tobey Maguire, Willem Dafoe, Kirsten Dunst, James Franco, Rosemary Harris
My Advice: Matinee
Meet Peter Parker (Maguire). He’s the kid most everyone can identify with–we’ve all been freaks at one time or another. It’s not that he’s got a third eye in the middle of his forehead or anything, he’s just that shy introvert that’s in every high school class and must somehow be perceived by everyone else as having a bullseye on either forehead or ass. Anyway, he lives with his Aunt May and Uncle Ben (Rosemary Harris and Cliff Robertson), has a crush on the girl next door (Dunst) and has the friend who’s better off (at least financially) than he (Franco). Then one day, on a field trip to Columbia University, a “super-spider” just happens to drop onto Peter’s hand and give him a little love peck. Somehow this bite transforms the formerly scrawny into a helluva buff bloke. Not only is he major beefcake now, but his vision’s improved, he can “sense” danger coming and he can stick to walls. And then there’s the fact that he can shoot spiderwebs out of his wrists…